Hello Friends,
Iv'e been "out of it" lately. My focus sucks- I spend way too much time mindlessly scrolling to fill time in my day. And again, went into my workout with the intention just to move.
“Knowing and feeling are two different things, and feeling is what counts.”
― François Lelord, Hector and the Search for Happiness
I have a tendency to sweep shit under the rug. Small shit, and bigger shits, and the accumulative effect (or affect, I don't care) is always unnecessary stress. I have come to realize this is a defense mechanism, self sabotage, in order to keep the irrational consistency of phrases like "not good enough", "doesn't deserve", and anything and everything "unworthy". I must accept that this defense mechanism is DEEPLY rooted. Imagine how much time, and energy and power is needed to get to the roots of a giant redwood tree. It won't happen overnight, but with awareness, brings the possibility for change.
Thanks for listening.