They won't notice anything I've been through when they look at me. They won't see the wounds that healed into scars over time. They won't witness the tragic events that rocked and altered my existence. They won't be able to tell how many tears I shed or even what caused me to cry. Because I had no other option, they won't realize how tough I had to be.
They'll see how sympathetic I am because I have personal experience with suffering. They will observe my kindness since I have first-hand experience with how terrible the world is. They'll see how good I am since I've experienced the worst that humans or things can be.
In spite of all that could have caused me to become cold and harsh, who I chose to be is what makes me different from my experiences.
We frequently focus so much on getting what we want that we tend to associate giving with being incapable or weak. Giving up something you've always wanted takes just as many guts, if not more. It takes a lot of courage to turn away from drama and go in a different direction once you realize that, despite your best efforts, some things are just not meant for you. When you think you are starting to grasp things, the rules change, and it will never work because of this.
Giving up is progress for me. It entails focusing on your most substantial areas of strength while letting everything else fall by the wayside. Answering your questions without worrying about the what-ifs is daunting, but sometimes it's the only option. It is both strong and successful. It signals the beginnings of a fresh start, of striving once more and of expressing hope.
I've been knocked down by life a few times and some things I never wanted to see were shown to me. I was depressed and unsuccessful. But despite that, I survived because I had faith in my ability to do so.
2022 was a challenging year for me; I engaged in numerous battles. I wiped my tears and lived. The most important life lesson I have learnt this year is to persist even when it hurts. Even though it deeply hurt me, I accepted my worst self because I believed that I could; therefore, I did.
So, the first rule of 2023 is to avoid dwelling on the mistakes made in 2022.
The end of the year has come; although it's difficult, the lesson I've learnt has been successful. Therefore, I don't believe that I failed to accomplish anything because showing courage is a virtue and a benefit that will help me advance into new chapters of my life. I am happy with the things I have accomplished. I applaud myself for persevering despite the difficult circumstances and say that what I accomplished was sufficient to go above and beyond. I've improved since I was younger, which makes my former self proud of me for not reviving the person I once buried.
My journey of escaping the wolves that hunt my inner peace has been difficult, but I am grateful for not getting caught by them, and I also give myself credit for not opening the door to them when they came knocking. The young version of me is always proud of being here and making it through another year of fighting for my life. My present self has played a significant role in shaping me to be courageous. I did a great job, and that's enough.
One day, I'll reflect on the times when I felt weak and lost, the times when I felt lost and bewildered. And I'll be astonished to see where those dark times got me when I look back.
So that for everyone:
Go ahead and take the first step despite your hesitation and anxiety. Even if tomorrow is not guaranteed and you have no idea what you're about to experience. The best travellers don't always follow a well-planned itinerary.
The most difficult times in life teach you a different kind of happiness. And during those times, you can find contentment in even the most minor things. You notice that you're moving slowly, but it doesn't feel bad because, deep down, you know that you'll eventually find what you're looking for, and if not, perhaps something even more significant.
