For a long time, I believed a lie.
The lie was that if I am a good person, good things will happen to me.
If I don't cheat people, nobody will cheat me.
If I am faithful, nobody will break my heart.
If I give, people will give back to me.
If I am kind, life will be kind to me.
I was very wrong, I repeat I was very wrong to believe that.
I was the good man. A man who returns extra change when a seller makes a mistake. A man who borrows money and pays back even when the person has forgotten. A man who shows up when others don't.
And still, bad things happened to me.
My goodness did not shield me from betrayal.
My goodness did not shield me from losing money in business.
My goodness did not shield me from people talking behind my back after I helped them.
And I sat down one night and asked myself, what is the point of being good then, if being good does not stop bad things from happening?
That night, God answered me with a truth that changed my life.
Being good was never meant to be a shield, rather it was meant to be a lifestyle.
We misunderstand goodness.
We treat it like juju, like insurance, like if I do good, the universe owes me good.
But goodness is not a transaction, it is an identity.
You are not good so that people will be good to you. You are good because that is who you are, even when people are not good to you.
Think of it like this, the sun does not stop shining because people insult it.
The rain does not stop falling because the ground cursed it yesterday.
A mango tree does not stop producing mango because someone threw stone at it last season.
They keep being who they are.
That is what being good really means.
So does being good stop bad things?
The answer is no.
And here are why;
Being good does not cancel people's free will.
You can be good to a person, but that person still has the freedom to be wicked to you. Judas ate with Jesus and still betrayed Him. Was Jesus not good enough? No. Judas was just being Judas.
Your goodness cannot force anyone to be good.Being good does not exempt you from life's process.
The Bible never said when you become good, life will be smooth. It said, in this world you will have tribulation which even the Bible confirms it.
Rain falls on the good and the bad. Loss visits the honest man and the dishonest man. Good people get sick. Good businesses fail. Good marriages have storms.
Life is not punishing you because you are not good enough. Life is just life.
- Being good does not mean being foolish.
Many of us are not just good, we are foolishly good. We are good without wisdom. We lend money we shouldn't lend. We trust people we shouldn't trust. We keep helping people who are clearly using us, in the name of l am a good person.
That is not goodness. That is self-destruction with a holy name.
Goodness must have boundaries. Jesus was good, but He still walked away from people who wanted to use Him.
Then why should I still be good when bad things happen?
Here is my own reason, and why I have decided to remain good even after everything.
Because evil changes you more than it hurts you.
When you stop being good because someone hurt you, you have allowed that person to win twice.
First, they hurt you.
Second, they turned you into them.
I refused.
I will not let one wicked person turn me into a wicked person.
I will not let one betrayal turn me into a betrayer.
I will not let one ungrateful person make me ungrateful to the next good people coming.
So how do you keep going as a good person despite bad things?
This is how I do it.
I separate people from purpose.
Your purpose for being good must be bigger than people. Mine is God. I am good because God is good to me, not because people deserve it. If your reason for goodness is people, you will quit tomorrow.l grieve, I don't harden.
When bad happens, I cry. I feel the pain. I talk to someone. I don't pretend that I am strong. But I don't build a wall around my heart and say I will never help anyone again. That wall will keep both enemies and helpers outside.Learn wisdom, don't lose goodness.
After every bad experience, I ask two questions, what did this teach me? What boundary should I add? I didn't stop lending, I just learned to lend what I can afford to lose. I didn't stop trusting, I just learned to trust with verification.Remember your own record.
Every night, ask yourself, did I become what hurt me today? If the answer is no, you have won. You kept your soul.
My final truth is that being good will not stop bad things from happening to you.
But being good will stop bad things from living inside you.
Listen, bad things may happen to you, but they don't have to happen in you.
You can be hurt and still be kind.
You can be disappointed and still be hopeful.
You can be betrayed and still be trustworthy.
That is real strength. Not pretending you are not hurt, but refusing to let the hurt change who you are.
So to everyone reading this who is tired of being good because good people keep getting hurt don't stop.
The world does not need more wicked people who were once good. The world needs good people who remained good despite wickedness.
Let's heal together.