Life does not always go as planned. Over the years, one thing I have come to realize is how easily life can go contrary to how you imagined it; you have a higher chance of life going contrary to the image in your head than the chance of life actually going like you imagined. I imagined getting a good-paying job and living in my own space after graduation from college, but what I got instead is a very low-paying job and living in an uncle's house with little or no privacy at all. Having a different picture in your head and then getting something entirely different can be emotionally and mentally draining.
As an undergraduate I pictured getting an engineering job immediately after graduation and living in a house of my own, where I could wake up when I want, sleep when I want, and have some quiet time to enable me to think whenever I want. Instead, what I got was a teaching job as a mathematics teacher, an uncle's house filled with kids playing and jumping around and with their parents shouting and scolding them at every given moment. I crave quietness at all times, but my current life does not give me that at all. Back home it is my uncle's kids and their parents, and then at work it is either the teachers or the students; there is nowhere to run to for the peace and quiet that I crave.
A few months into the job I discovered the treasure that I seek, a quiet place, somewhere I can go to hear myself think, a place where the noise in my head gets loud enough, somewhere that gives me the satisfaction I craved and life has deprived me of. The grade 5 classroom at the farm end of the school after the last bell is that treasure; it takes at least 2 hours before the security man locks the gate after dismissal, and the school goes completely quiet after dismissal, with just a few teachers left and a few students waiting for their parents to come pick them up.
I don't rush to go back home after dismissal; there is no peace for me there. Rather, I go to the grade 5 classroom at the far end of the school. As always, the last bell rang, and students and pupils poured out of their classrooms in numbers while I was trying to make my way to my newfound treasure.
"Good afternoon, Sir Kachi." The students chorused.
"Good afternoon." I responded with a forced smile on my face.
"See you tomorrow, sir," one of the students said, waving goodbye to me.
I waved back, still forcing a smile, and within minutes, silence swept through the entire school like rapture had taken place, leaving just a few of us behind. I sat down slowly, staring at the board with a half-erased English comprehension staring back at me.
"For how long will I keep living like this?" I asked myself. "First a job I never imagined myself doing, then living in an uncle's house whose wife is not really welcoming." I added as I buried my face in my palm.
The school had been noisy all day; the staff room had teachers gisting and gossiping; the school compound had students shouting and running around, and I never really had the chance to let it all out, but now there was nothing, just silence and an opportunity to let it all out.
"When does it end? When will I get the chance to live my dream life?" I asked myself, still staring at the whiteboard with so many thoughts in my head, but everything was interrupted.
"Sir Kachi, you are still here?" "Mrs. John, the school cleaner," asked with her mop stick in one hand and a broom in the other hand.
"Yes, I am, Oo Ma; I just needed some quiet time." I said as I leaned backwards on the chair I was sitting on.
"Hmmmm." Mrs. John chuckled, "We all need some quiet time and quiet places, but those times can bring the loudest thoughts." Mrs. John added
"You are not wrong at all, Ma. My head is full." I responded with a forced smile.
"Mind sharing what is bothering you?" Mrs. John asked as she grabbed a chair, dropping her broom and mop.
I smiled, trying to hold back and not wanting to share, "You can talk to me. My son is about your age too, and I know people your age deal with a lot." She said, convincing me to open up.
"First of all, I am thinking about quitting this job; the stress is too much while the pay is little. I also don't like where I am living; my uncle's wife is kind of hostile, but I still have to endure it because I need something to do in the meantime." I responded as my chest felt even heavier.
"Of all the mathematics teachers I have seen, you seem different. Mathematics teachers are known for spanking, but you are different, and that has helped many students who are known to have a mathematics problem improve. You know Chimezie in SS1?" Mrs. John asked.
"Yes, ma I know him." I responded.
"He is my son, and I have never seen him so excited about mathematics until you came. Please don't quit because of the pay; rather, stay because of the kids and the impact you are making in their lives." She said as she reached out for my hands.
"I did not even know Chimezie was your son, and I did not know I was also making this much impact. Thank you, Ma." I responded as my chest lightened and my facial expressions got better.
"The pay might not be good, but you are really doing a great job, and as for where you are staying, it is all part of growth and growing up; it might take some time, but when the time comes for you to get your own space, you will, so just hang in there and endure." Mrs. John encouraged me.
Silence swept through the classroom, but this silence felt different. I left with a different energy; I felt encouraged and was starting to find the strength to keep going from within.
I stood up and picked up my lesson note. "Maybe I needed this moment after all." I said I appreciated Mrs. John.
"A quiet place might not fix the problem, but it helps." She responded as she picked up her mopstick.
