Usually, I am the person who just listens to himself and none. I don't bother with what others think or say about me until or unless that person is someone very close to me and has a logical explanation. You may say, I am the king of my own kingdom, lol. I don't have any Kingdom to rule but yeah, we all have our own life for that, right?
“I feel like you are being too judgemental nowadays.” One of my close friends lives far from here.
“How?” I was puzzled and said nothing more than this.
She stopped and said nothing on this topic, just goodbye. I too have a weird habit of saying farewell when someone says bye. So did I. I thought the conversation ended there but both of us were having thoughts about the sparkles that lit.
She came online within ten minutes and gave me a text, “Let me clear a few things for you.”
I was like, “Sure, it's my pleasure.” I was eager to know as well what I did wrong all of a sudden as we hadn’t spoken much those days.
And guess what, she took almost ten minutes and sent me a text with 350+ words. Hahaha, literally I did a word count of that text later. She did dig graves and there were so many objections, so many misunderstandings, and all. Well, those may seem like a misunderstanding to me but the person in the front found it disheartening. So yeah, can't defend as everyone's point of view isn’t the same. It's my fault.
The moral of that long text was, “Don't be judgmental without knowing the whole context. It can hurt someone beyond your imagination” Well, this one is truly a good one, isn't it?
I had so much to tell, to defend, to stabilize my kingship behavior. But one of my instincts suggested that I just say sorry and move on. That's what I did, I gave a love reaction to that text, said sorry, also promised not to repeat anything like that, and asked if there was anything more she would like to vent out. She felt relieved and moved on from that topic as well. Guess what, we haven’t talked after that yet.
Actually, the fault was mine, I don't bother with everyone, I just mind with my close people and sometimes get too close without thinking twice. Distance changes lots of things changing our behaviors and thinking as well, circumstances play a vital role too. I tried to give feedback with whatever I was told, but it was unknown that there lies way more context than that, that's a mistake and I failed to reach a conclusion and give a judgment based on those shared problems. Was it just mine? Let's forget it.
Since the day she pointed this out, I have been extra careful about such matters that might backfire or hurt the person in front of me. I have found this wise as well to not interfere in things that aren’t relevant to me in any way directly. Since the day, if someone comes to me to share their problems, I try to be a good listener, understand it, and give advice if I can based on my experience in a harmless way.
So yeah, that one conversation that made a dent in our friendship taught me a valuable lesson that might save many more friendships for sure. I have learned from that and haven’t repeated that kinda behavior after that nor do I wish to do so.
