Burnout - this word was very familiar to me. Used to see people getting frustrated over tiny things, making fatal decisions, and giving up on something pretty easily. Have heard this word for others many times, like someone pointing out something to a person and mentioning their burnout phase.
Never have I ever imagined that I would also be feeling like I'm getting burned out. Things are now making me realise that. In the past, there were many times when I felt like doing nothing and wasting time aimlessly. But this time, it's different.....
The thing is, I know things are getting worse day by day, and if I don't act accordingly, I will be doomed. My stability depends on something else, which requires combined team efforts. Everyone has their specific roles to play. I got mine; I have tons of tasks to complete as well. But I don't know why I'm dragging things on and on and kinda suffering while fulfilling the tasks.
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash
To be honest, I have done more complex stuff than these, way more complex, but this time, I am not feeling like doing it. It's not even that I'm not trying; I'm doing it, but the satisfaction from execution isn't coming like that. Maybe I'm planning things wrong, and so this is happening; who knows. But this time, I'm just wasting time doing this, this, and that. Nit doing the actual stuff. See, it's getting 3:00 AM. Instead of getting done with those tasks as usual, I'm wasting my time developing some Slack bots for personal task management. Irony here: in the process of building a task planner, I'm missing deadlines for my tasks.
I'm feeling like I'm burning out. The only thread left is the bond that we have had for years. Things are getting so messed up, and no one is bothered to sort them out, making things even messier.
I know I must do it; I will do it eventually, but only after making things ugly. It's like stepping into the shit even though I have seen it there. Yeah, without portraying it like that, I can't bring myself back to my senses. Also, another thing: day by day, I'm becoming carefree like this. I'm not listening to people, behaving badly with anyone, even with the slightest trigger. Not always, but oftentimes I'm being that short-tempered. Within the last two months, I have had multiple similar incidents. Trying to complete them, it's kind of a red flag when working in teams.
Right now, I might get some sleep; gonna fill the bucket for the whole week. No alarms, no notifications, phone gonna be in D&D mode, and sleep tight. The only friday which brings a holiday in the week; Saturdays are gone, unfortunately. Usually its seen that after the pressure of the whole week, Fridays take me into hibernation mode, in relaxation sessions.
So yeah, these feelings of burnout will fade away with time. Weekend gonna help me find some peace to get back straight into the tasks that doesnt need to cross deadlines.
Thank you for stopping by,
Keep me in your prayers.
Take Care