Day 17, Ayurveda Pancha Karma Pre-Cleanse, Diary

Pitta with Vata imbalance

Wow! What a day... started out with skipping yoga meditation because I just did not have time to get it all done and get out of the house - having not been able to sleep much the night before ???

I did the hung meditation, did the sinus oil thing with cold oil - I realized I am supposed to be warming the FUCKING Oil???? Oh MY God - I simply cannot do all this shit.

Had my tea.

I ate a room temp pear, the bitter herb, and the Quinoa Blueberry cereal for breakfast and zoomed off to acupuncture.

Then I followed a hunch and went to see an old friend who I found out recently had prostate cancer. Totally upsetting.

Then I went to a friend's house to do the oil/bath thing in hopes of being able to break a sweat there - I don't know if I am doing that or not. I borrowed his robe and sat after the bath in the robe, hoping that I had broken a sweat. I don't know.

I brought with me and ate a mixture of sweet potato, squash, black beans and pumpkin seeds with cumin, coriander and fennel. It wasn't bad. Now I have slight heartburn??????????

The bath really was no hotter than my house. I am doing the best I can with this. It's insane. It's only insane for people living the way I am living - the shower is broken - in which only the shower head works, the faucet does not work, so when taking a bath you have to run the water out of the shower head. That means that when the water comes out hot from the shower head, by the time it hits the bathtub it is not as hot - Oh fucking well.

At least there IS running water in the sink. I got Kent to fix that for me when I first moved in.

What I found out about him is that he and I are not on the same time-frame in terms of priority - He doesn't care about this house at all and there are so many things wrong with it... I do - I live here and am here a lot more of the time than he is and I now own this house and yet, I can't do anything about it because I am not a skilled construction worker.

I would, if I could, watch a youtube video and try to fix stuff, but Kent is skilled in construction, so instead, I have to just be patient and wait for him to get around to it -someday-and not get resentful.

The kitchen is a total mess. The cabinets are filled with shit that has nothing to do with the kitchen so all my stuff for the cleanse lives on the kitchen counter. He has a double sink and the garbage disposal is broken so one side of the sink is for washing dishes and the other side is for dry dishes as is the dishwasher. That's where we store the dishes that should go in the cabinet - in my perfect world - AND there is dust - filth - everywhere in the kitchen - for some reason, I think having to do with the dogs running out to the back yard and bringing it in- this dust - I guess - but since I can't put anything away, I have given up trying to keep up after the fucking dust - so I am simply trying to get by one day at a time in this situation with him - this is how he lives.

However, I am just as much of a slob as he is, it's just I prefer my mess to his mess.

He eats out. Doesn't clean. Doesn't organize. Buys something again if he can't find it - and that's the way it is - so for me to have to fucking warm my oil in the morning to drop into my nostrils is simply out of the question.

This is one challenge. Then I have total fear as well - I simply do not have free will the way others seem to about wearing a mask or not. Another challenge.

Just trying to do this fucking cleanse has added so much more stress to my life - wow - but I think I have got it down. I ate a bunch of roasted pumpkin seeds for dinner, and that's all- 2 tablespoons of Sunflower Oil which I forgot to cure before bed - oh well and I am not doing an oil enema, because last night, it kept me up a lot of the night, because it messed up my stomach.
In a few hours, I can get on with living.

I can't wait to be through this part...

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