I stepped out to the balcony to listen to music and stare at the cosmos. It's been a few weeks that I go out every night to the point that it starts to feel part of a nightly routine.
Hmm, it's weird - these weeks were cloudy, rainy, and thunderous, yet every night, there is never a single cloud above my home. Coincidence? Most likely.
But today, I can see big clouds in the distance that also cover the entire moon (which is the only thing I truly wanted to stare at tonight). However, the sky above me is clear, and I can see every single star that has a shine in it.
Strange, why have I never done this before? As far as I remember, I've always loved those small sparkles in the sky. The only difference is that now they somehow move me.
Before, I used to be a different soul - cold, cocky, mildly aggressive, striving to perform better than anyone, everywhere. Striving not to be humiliated in the eyes of others at any cost.
Oh yes, I was bad. So bad, today I despise that person. I wonder, why the change? No clue. I've always been surrounded by the same people, in the same environment of the same age.
Some of them perceived me as a "leader", some lad they can follow around to look cool and feel safe. In the end, I was always in the midst of bullying and violence, which I often was a cause of.
But time went on, and I've changed. One day I realized that it's not what I needed. I understood that I'm a pest that everyone uses for their own benefit. I sunk up the fact that I have no real friends and decided I didn’t need that kind of life anymore.
That was the same day when I, for the first time, interacted with classmates I've never spoken to before.
They were completely different - not aggressive, not evil, just infinitely friendly. Since then, my character, lifestyle, hobbies, and outlook on life have changed dramatically. I became a completely different person and have never regretted anything since.
Speaking of those people I cut ties with, they have never bothered me since, on the contrary, they've always retained a mix of respect and fear for me...
Now it's been five years, and the people that helped me change are now my best friends, whom I have memories to cherish for aeons.
I'm grateful for the force that allowed me to make a change. My only hope is that it's going to be enough.
