Tomorrow morning we will be out of the hotel, but we don't know where we are going to be going yet. We will have to see what the insurance company says, who are supposed to be the ones arranging the pipe repairs in our house, but we won't know about that until after we have already checked out. I assume that it will take longer than a day to fix, so we are looking at other accommodation options like AirBnB, but there is nothing suitable in our area and the ones in the city are almost as expensive as a hotel only.
Perhaps for some, staying in a hotel would be nice, but I really just want to be home again, as I have travelled enough in my life on work trips, to know that this isn't relaxing. Hopefully, there will be a team available that can fix what they need to the point it is livable tomorrow.
I will be working from the local library in the meantime.
My wife will be working from her parents, trying to figure this nonsense out at the same time.
I did promise Smallsteps an adventure on the weekend, so I guess that this qualifies as fulfilling my obligations. Perhaps it hasn't quite been in the way that I would have done it under normal circumstances, but when life hands you lemonade...
This has thrown a lot of my rhythm out and it has given plenty of complications that I have to think through. This is not easy for me to face so much change at one time, let alone have to make decisions based on a lot of moving parts, that I have very little experience with. Perhaps once it is all over I will have a chance to reflect back on it and learn something, but for now, it just makes my head hurt and I am pretty sure that the decisions I am making aren't ideal.
My head struggles.
And, I haven't had a lot of chance to write, because there are so many things that are out of the ordinary going on, that it just slips through the cracks. It is after ten at night, and I am just getting started to really think about the day behind me, and what is to come. This is normally not too difficult, but there are so many unfamiliar things to consider, that my brain doesn't know where to start. It is like it begins writing in chalk on a blackboard, but before anything meaningful appears, it erases it again, over and over.
It is frustrating for me, and it is frustrating for my family, as they don't really understand what is going on in my head, nor what will help me balance. They "know", but they don't know know, which means they don't always give enough space. Normally, it isn't too bad because I can get some space, but that hasn't been possible most of the last few days, especially when we are all crammed into a small hotel room. When I try and take a little breathing room, I disrupt them.
While I didn't like travelling a lot of time for work, one of the benefits was that once back in the hotel room after the day's sessions, I had space to myself to unwind and unload. I could essentially data dump what was behind and give room for what was to come, often writing about my experiences as I went. It was incredibly helpful.
Tomorrow I will be at the library, so I think that I will spend the first hour or two trying to come to terms with what is going on and defrag it in my head, so that I can streamline my thoughts. This might seem weird for some people reading, but I think that we should all reflect a bit more, and process a bit more, as it helps build for going forward also.
I need this.
There is a lot going on outside of the house concerns too, and I am falling behind, which is stressing me out a bit, because there are people relying on me to do some things, I haven't done yet. The timing of the house issues really couldn't have been worse, though I suspect there isn't an overly good time for it ever to happen. Still, If it could have waited until February, it would have been a little easier both on the time availability, as well as financially. The cost for this is high, and we don't know if we are going to get reimbursed, or if the repairs will be on us yet.
We did nothing wrong.
But, as I have written before, the universe doesn't care about "fairness", it is just a simple energy transfer system. It doesn't care about good and evil, or our beliefs on what should and shouldn't happen. It doesn't care about any of us at all, no matter how much some of us want to believe that it does for our own comfort. It doesn't care if we have a roof over our head, or not.
But, at least for now, that is a problem for another day, as we do have a roof over our head and, we do have some options in front of us. I am not sure what the outcome will be and what the cost to us is, but we will deal with it the best we can, as we always have.
Nothing is easy for us.
Perhaps it isn't for anyone.
Hopefully though, this can be sorted out quickly so that my mind can lend itself to other thoughts to think instead. Tomorrow at least, it will get the input of "somewhere else" as a prompt.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
