Seems pretty quiet tonight - I wonder what everyone is up to?
My new job starts on Monday (and finishing up my old for the next month as well) and since I took an extra week off, I was hoping to get a bit of "me time" this week to mentally prepare, but my daughter has been ill, so I have been with her day and night. She isn't that sick, but she is struggling to sleep and during the days, she of course doesn't want to be alone - and my wife is working.
You know, sometimes I feel like the world is against me, but I know that this is probably the case for everyone much of the time and, the world doesn't care about any of us, - it just does it's thing. Fairness doesn't come into it and, there are no favorites. Some are lucky, some are not. Some like cats always land on their feet, some like buttered bread dropped, always land face down.
I am not sure which I am - but I have taken a few faceplants in my day.
But, I don't feel especially unlucky, though before I started writing this I was thinking a little about my life gone and there aren't many people who would want to trade places, if they had to take it in its entirety. It is a funny thing though, as when we evaluate someone's life we cherry-pick pieces in order to make our judgements for or against and forget, that is never the whole story.
Life is far too complex for that and often when we make a judgement we overweigh the things we want but are lacking and they have. Based on that single data point, we think about how good it would be to be in their shoes. I'd predict that the reality is that most people are quite similarly happy and unhappy, with it depending more on personality disposition than life circumstances. For many, no matter what they have they will be unhappy, whereas for a few, no matter how hard their lives may be, they are happy.
I think I used to be the optimistic dreamer in life, but I don't feel that is my thing now, as I am far more negative, which at times might be a bit of a mood killer for many people. I am not the life of the party, I am the voice that no one at the party wants to hear. Well, that is not completely true, but I think quite a few people do think that about me, if they don't know me well enough that is.
But, in the current world that I feel I am not suited for, I don't really find that much socially to celebrate anymore. I am a very social person, but I have become far more withdrawn and it isn't just because of the lockdowns, it is because of how people have reacted to them. With many of my friends, I just don't fit in anymore because they have bought heavily into the public narrative surrounding all of this and, I just haven't. While I can avoid talking about it and keep my opinions to myself, because they are so invested, they want to talk about it but from the perspective that they are right. This is natural of course, but there is a "religious zeal" in their words and actions that make me combative, so it is better that I stay away.
Like all things, nothing lasts forever and because I value the relationships I have, I am not going to burn them because of government policy. But, I am not going to go along to get along either, so the best chance of keeping them intact post-panic, is to social distance. I suspect that I will still lose some and some may weaken the longer this bears on, but I am confident that most will be salvageable once the fear subsides.
Fear is the most powerful control mechanism and we have built a society that runs heavily on it, with any individual who steps out of line, getting punished by the group - Even if they don't understand why they are punishing them.
There are so many experiments that show how we are prone to social group opinion and that if someone in authority tells us to do something, we are likely to do it unquestionably. It is the "I just work here" mentality.
When there is uncertainty, confusion, fear and punishment for non-compliance, people are far more likely to fall into step and tow the party line to avoid negative consequence, even of not in agreeance. It is better to be wrong as a member of the group, than right as an outcast. I could very well be wrong - but that is on my head - I will rather take the beating than succumb to group pressure to do something that I do not believe in. I don't know how far I can take it of course as everyone has limits, but I am nowhere near mine yet - I will keep climbing that ladder.
But, I don't blame anyone for making a different choice than me, nor do I necessarily think that they are wrong to make it, but it just isn't the choice I would make for myself. I am not them, I do not know their history, I don't have their knowledge, disposition or whatever motivations they may have - I cannot be in their shoes, and it is nonsense to believe that we can emphasize with each other in my opinion. Compassion is far more useful and I can be compassionate - even when I disagree. It seems though, not many can these days - it is all about taking sides and scoring points against the enemy - symptoms of a dysfunctional social group - like the actions of ex-partners going through a bitter divorce.
I suspect that the pandemic itself isn't going to last much longer, but the ramifications of how it was handled will impact us for many years to come. One of those consequences is going to be a further fracturing of previously tight-knit social groups along imaginary lines, where they have been pitted against each other and led to believe that they are completely different from one another. People who used to be so close earlier, can no longer be civil to each other, out of externally introduced fear.
But, there will be many other issues as well, so while we are all trying to manage the best we can, we will lose sight of the people and relationships that are the most important to us and, the control mechanism wills tighten their grip on us as individuals, by loosening the bonds that collect us as a group.
In another life, those five monkeys could have been friends with a banana to share.
A life that wasn't engineered.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]