Life is fleeting; both from the perspective of the history of the universe and, our own experience of life. When young, 80 years seems like a long time ahead, but the closer we get to that end, the faster time moves, and the shorter it becomes. But, even on the averages, not everyone is going to even make it that far.
Very unexpectedly, one of my colleagues passed away last night and it has come as a shock to the organization, for not only were they a long-term and key part of the company, but also very good at their job and well liked as a person. Prior to this role, I hadn't much to do with them, but since, I have got to know them quite well and I feel his family. In death, we often soften our opinions of a person and repaint them as nicer than they were, yet I have no need to do that here, they were a very good person and will be missed by many.
Yet, this has happened billions of times before and life goes on for those who still live.
And in the last couple days, "culture" has come up in quite a few discussions, with both differences taking a focus and ability to affect change, or inability as the case may be. There were various complaints about different cultures, lots of support and want too. And by the way of change, lots or excuses and justifications as to how change should happen, but why it doesn't.
In general though, since everyone works in their own best interest (even if it isn't actually working that way), it is good to recognize that while we normally group culture by a sense of "shared understanding and practice, because we each grow up through different experiences and contexts, we also have a unique blend of programs, giving us our own personal culture - an amalgamation of many facets, that may even be in conflict with each other under various circumstances.
For instance, in a discussion about conflict in a team development meeting, there were different understandings of what "conflict" meant or was, which impacted on individual willingness to be involved in the process. For example, one person saw conflict as a fight of some sort, something negative. While another saw it as a discussion-based trial of thoughts, in order to find a better result, which is closer to my own interpretation. However, those two views were coming from two Finns, who would identify as being raised in the same culture.
The difference isn't at the "Finnishness" though, it is at the experience level. The first view of conflict being negative was coming from someone who is a little younger, but from a family where there hasn't been a culture of argumentation. Whereas the second view, was from someone who was raised in a family with a family managed business, with every dinner together essentially being an informal board meeting. These experiences result in a different relationship with conflict and affect the willingness and ability to get involved, with one being more willing to avoid conflict, because it is seen as a negative, the other looking to produce conflict, as it leads to a better result.
However, the same person who likes conflict, also has other cultural traits that hold them back from a better solution or path And because they are unwilling to break their defaults, as they identify as "being" a certain way, change of "who you are" is difficult and uncomfortable.
Take away the cultural programming and who do we become?
To illustrate this a little bit, every baby makes all the sounds necessary to speak any language in their first year of life, but as they learn "their" mother-tongue, they strengthen some and forget others, increasing capabilities in one area, diminishing in another. People often identify based on this programming as they have done it their entire lives and it feels so natural. But as we know (not in my case apparently) it is still possible to learn multiple languages, allowing us to speak to others through a different filter, whilst still remaining to be ourselves - the same, but different.
Or, perhaps we could also look at it from a style perspective, where you could imagine wearing the same type of clothing to the office, that you were wearing when you were ten. But, if you think about this in another context when it comes to skill development, it can very awkward if we don't change who we are from when we are young, and of course, our attitudes and belief systems.
As our lives progress, if we aren't updating our programming, we are going to likely fall behind. For an example, imagine the best football player in the 1960s as someone who doesn't age, but also doesn't improve past that point. Are they still the best in 1980, 2000, 2020? Unlikely. Most likely, while they might have inspired a new generation of player through the 1960s, those new players will practice, replicate and then improve on what was the best.
And as is obvious, we can't live forever unchanged, so we are naturally going to shift our directions in both positive and negative ways, where for example, we can improve our skillset, even whilst our body is degrading. However, when we hold onto this idea of "the way I am" too tightly, we can hinder our own progress, becoming our own roadblock to getting to where we want to go, disliking not getting there, but comfortable adhering to our default programming that is limiting us.
This creates a conflict in experience, and because compartmentalize what we are aware of, we might not even see that in some regard, we are our own worst enemy, so to speak. We feel the pressure of wanting different, the pressure of trying to stay the same and the pressure of not getting what we want or where we want to be, all at once. This is demotivating and it is also fear inducing, freezing us in place and pushing us to err on the side of caution, which ultimately, is to fall back on our defaults, the learned culture we believe is us.
Ultimately though, life really is fleeting, so we can at least take stock in the fact that no matter how badly we screw it up, there is always an end in sight. It has happened a billion times before and while the past doesn't necessarily predict the future, the odds are good that it is going to keep happening the way it has.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
