Emotions are fleeting, and...

The feelings are lasting. The problems, the couple conflicts! They are a thorny issue for a few.

If someone loves us, they will be willing to forgive and go through all the crises with us. He will wait for the anger to pass after an argument, he will recognize his contribution to the conflict, live "an ego death", perhaps to repair mistakes, and better understand our relationships.

There are couples who sleep in the same bed, share the same roof, know the routine by heart... they stopped really meeting a long time ago. And that which united them at the beginning (the complicity, the desire, the desire) was running out of space within the bond. Then our bond as a couple falls into numbness, which kills love. In fact, it often happens that if the last deep conversation we had with our partner we don't even remember it anymore, and if everything we talk about is only functional, that is, on autopilot, there we have the answer.

The good news is that this meeting is recovering. Because not necessarily love is over, but we stop feeding it, which is very different. Watch out for that... And many times the most common mistake is to think that if it was time to work on the relationship, it's because the love is no longer there. Well, no, no, it's just that sometimes we just stop feeding him, which is very different. You can share a bed, a roof and a routine, and still not really meet for months.

There is a kind of distance that is not noticeable because there are no fights, only functional silence. We can even coordinate who's looking for the kids, what's for dinner, who paid for such a thing. One can work like this for years, coordinating everything perfectly with the couple, without really meeting again.

Love can be one of the most liberating and rewarding experiences there is. But also one of the greatest sources of suffering. Maybe not because loving is the problem. But because many times we come to love without having first learned to be complete for us mismos.No there is nothing that causes more suffering than love.And nothing more liberating either.

Be careful with that, change that and change everything.

I think relationships in healthy couples don't blame themselves for how they feel. They take their part. They are heard... And they accompany each other without exigency, because love is chosen with intimacy, agreements and desires. Because being together doesn't necessarily mean feeling close. Sometimes the routine works, responsibilities are fulfilled and the relationship continues, but desires cease to be named, intimacy cools down and agreements are maintained out of habit, even if they no longer represent what both need.

Expressing what we feel, without insulting, without offending, would not have to break a genuine, loyal, and honest bond.

Janitze 🌹