Strangely, yesterday was the hottest day of the summer in Finland this year and today, there was going to be a massive storm - but it "missed" and it was just quite windy. The damage to our place as a small branch of the old apple tree broke and, there are a lot of apples laying in the grass. However, it is interesting how people react to these kinds of weather events, as many people were worried and worked from home instead of braving the winds, but come winter, the same people will quite happily speed through heavy snow. As someone who lived where there are cyclones, this was barely even a breeze, but I drive more slowly when there is snow on the ground.
We acclimatize quickly to our environment and will not only build habits to make our lives easier, but also make these practices part of us, part of our identity. Yet, when the environment changes, we don't automatically make new habits to suit, so it feels like we are being attacked, making anyone who we feel is the cause of the change, our enemy, or those who benefit from the new environment, somehow dishonest.
Today I had the pleasure to have dinner with a really nice guy who also has Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia. It is an inherited disorder diagnosed almost two decades ago, where they have gone from a healthy person, to someone whose ability to walk has degraded continuously. As they degrade, they have to move to tools that give them more aid, a walking stick, two walking sticks, a walker, a rolling walker, until they will eventually be in a wheelchair.
Each need for changing the support level, must hurt.
I am always curious about people and their views on life and I am very open in talking to them about these things, but also respectful in the way I approach the conversation. I see people avoid and ignore talking about these things, but in my opinion, we should be interested, because this is their experience and impacts on how they are treated and, how they see themselves. In my experience, there is no topic too taboo or sensitive to discuss, if the conversation and interest is honest.
We continued talking as I walked them to their car and since this is hereditary, I asked if they had siblings. This only affects the males in his family and with a brother and a sister, his brother has it too, while his sister has not. Because his brother is younger, the disorder hasn't yet progressed as far and he requires less support, but it is obviously a hard position to be in, because he can look and see his own future.
I don't know if it would be better not to know or, if it would be better to know what conditions await, being able to prepare for the future, rather than be surprised by what is to come. My intuition tells me it would be better not to know, but it is a coin flip, because knowing means being able to come to terms with it and that preparation can be invaluable. However not knowing means there is still hope, still a chance that conditions change. Or medicine changes.
The unknown leaves room for magic.
But, I don't believe in magic.
As we slowly walked, he said that despite the degradation to his legs, his upper body should be okay, so he can still do the work he is doing, which is in IT, so it could be worse. And I agreed.
I mentioned that I had a stroke a couple years ago and thought that it could be worse, but most people takes this as that I could have died. That is not worse, that is a release. Worse is not being able to communicate, not being able to think, and while I might have challenges in both of these areas, I can still operate adequately, at least for the being. In the future, I do not know.
None of us know.
And I think this is why it is so difficult for us to cope with the changes as they arrive, because we identify with what we are at some given point in time, becoming accustomed to it and comfortable. We don't predict how or when changes will have to happen. So when they do, we are no longer able to be "who we are" and we lose ourselves into something else and somebody else. If we are accept our new conditions, we will always feel that loss, especially if the new us, is not as good as the old, as is so often the case.
The weather of our lives are always changing and sometimes the breeze is favorable, taking us rapidly to where we want to go. But, sometimes it is not and we have to fight against the winds of change, just to try and hold position and inevitably, we never can, we always lose our grip and become something other than what we were.
And the interesting thing is that who we are is dying constantly, as every moment we are changing, but the change is normally so out of our awareness, we do not see it happen. It is only when it is obvious that we realize. Or when enough time has passed since we looked in the mirror and we can compare ourselves to what we remember us to be.
Sunny one day. Storm the next.
What happens the day after?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]