Lately, I catch a thought in the midst of my day and think, I need to write about this. Then, something else happens that puts them in my backburner. Now, I felt like I need to process them.
Is this real adulthood? I caught myself wondering if during my inactivity years, I stayed as child inside. These days, I collected so many new information, knowledge, and memories but having a very little time to metabolize all those experiences. Sometimes I feel like I am smart but also stupid simultaneously. I am a teacher but also a student. So, who am I? During my time working these past couple of days, I learned to just be someone who is teachable.
But that is half of the story of this reflection.
My school starts next week and for some reason, I finally felt like this is me. I am going to be an Engineer. Sometimes, I wonder if I take a roundabout way to be who I truly am. Ever since I was a kid, there was no doubt that at some point, I'd either be an Engineer or an Analyst. The thing is, I grew up in financially unstable family that STEM was so out of reach to me but also, I didn't quite develop a discipline as well despite everything my parents tried to teach me. You know, when you're pretty smart and things are way too easy for you, you get cocky at times. Then, coupled that with no access to constantly challenge myself or a better way to cope with failures. That was a recipe to disaster. In the end, I had to learn about failures through the most devastating way possible.
But, I learned anyway and now, I am moving forward. Maybe I can't be reduced to one thing and one thing only. I am coming to terms that I can connect every unrelated things to be more interesting. I have a particular unique angle especially when I care enough about it and it has the potential to generate an income.
And, here's to new semester and back being a student.
Just last week, I tried to systemize my life but oh well.... It doesn't matter how I beautifully organized my entire week, sometimes my life responses are based on SOS that my office gives me. I don't get how some of these people/ consultants operate in this chaos. They are 60+ but their brain has 2000 tabs open and they successfully navigate that chaos. I, on the other hand, can't stand more than 5 to-do in my brain.
Maybe those are new skills I have to learn now including learning to stop controlling every fraction of my life. In the end, plans and things change. But sometimes, strangely after a roundabout way to find ourselves, you might find yourself somewhere familiar just like I do.
But yes, in case you're wondering why I haven't been that active lately... I am juggling between about 6 different projects in 4 different locations, including teaching from Monday-Sunday part time as well as growing a business I recently started with 2 of other new associates of mine.
And this is the starting point to become a new student, this time.. I definitely won't give up despite the challenges and will ask for more help whenever I need one rather than like it was, afraid to speak up of my problems.
๐๐ฆ๐ฎ๐บ (๐ฐ๐ณ ๐๐ข๐ค) ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ค๐ถ๐ณ๐ช๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ต, ๐ค๐ฐ๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ถ๐ณ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐ต ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ญ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ฌ. ๐๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ถ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐ค๐ถ๐ณ๐ช๐ฐ๐ด๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ด๐ช๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ: ๐ธ๐ฉ๐บ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ ๐ช๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด? ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ'๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ๐ญ, ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฉ๐บ, ๐ค๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ค๐ฐ๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ, ๐ต๐ฆ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฐ๐จ๐บ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ๐ฅ๐ข๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฃ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ด๐ต. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ด๐ธ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ๐ด. ๐๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐๐ช๐ท๐ฆ, ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฃ ๐ข ๐ค๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ค๐ฐ๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ญ๐บ. | |