I just stumbled upon a post that I can barely remember writing. I remember feeling everything I said in the post but it feels like it was half a year ago. I was surprised to see that it was only 20 days old.
I was in a nearly desperate state but somehow managing to keep peace of mind. I felt unsure that I would be able to keep going but I resolved to do my best. Right now I have a lot more hope, and a new direction, a new strategy, and I can already feel myself stepping into a new situation.
I am far from out of that dark just yet, but I feel as if I’ve just found a route that will lead me to water, just as I was about to die from thirst.
Just 20 days. Imagine how much can change in a year or two. Imagine how much can change in good health. Imagine how much can change when the world is actually moving again. There is never any reason to give up hope, though there is great strength to be gained in facing the worst case scenario and accepting it, while still uttering “not if I can help it”.
I’m not even the same person anymore, and that’s just 20 days. I know people who go 20 years and hardly change. I am not going to judge them, everyone has their own path that they choose, and theirs are none of my business. But I have to revel in this accomplishment, I must honor myself and allow myself to enjoy the progress that I’ve made.
I’ve come to understand my body better. I’ve found a new path towards reaching the people who will sustain me, those who will exchange silly pieces of paper or numbers on a screen for that which I can offer them. I’ve found a way to combine all my passions and to blend my work and play, my social life, my online life, and my work life.
I am beginning to be this person that you see in my blog at all times and in all places, or at least to be able to be him, whenever I wish. I feel more and more flexibility in who “I” am. I am not going to claim I have transcended the ego, because I do not believe such a thing is practical for interacting with this physical world, and so it’s not even the goal. The goal is to work in harmony with the ego, where it knows that it is part of the whole, not the whole entirely.
I feel more and more of a pull to connect with people from various locations, something which I was doing anyway. I won’t be putting more energy into that because I think I was already putting more than enough effort into it but I think I’ll start to feel that my efforts are paying off, and that I’m building the framework for something much larger than myself, together with some of you and with others we have yet to meet.
Thank you 
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I am promoting my YouTube channel in an attempt to find more great people to connect with and to bridge to this great community. A thumbs up and follow would be of great help, and if you like this post, you’ll surely like what I share there:
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