I have come to observe that the way and manner relationships crash in this era is so much as compared to what was obtainable when I was much younger. The truth is that some of the reasons behind these breakups can simply be avoided, but people need to be aware of how to avoid it by building a solid foundation for their relationship. In our last episode, we were able to see some good foundations required to build a good relationship and we shall continue with it here. It will definitely require conscious efforts from the both parties involved if they want their relationship to work.
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The first foundation that we will look at here as a good way to build a lasting relationship is to avoid comparison. That someone else's relationship is going in a particular way does not mean that you will expect yours to go the same way. Someone's relationship may be going in a particular way on the outside, but you do not know how it is on the inside. If you try to put your partner in tight corner due to what you have seen from someone else, you will end up putting them under pressure and it may put strain on the relationship. You need to concentrate on building your own relationship and not what you perceive from the relationship of others.
Remember that you are not to model your life and relationship after the standards of others but after what is obtainable in your own. There was a story a friend told me about one his friends who recently had a breakup. The reason why the guy left was that the girlfriend was always comparing him with her friends. When her friends' boyfriends buy them something or do something for them, she will expect her own boyfriend to do the same for her. The truth is that he was trying at his own level but who she was comparing to him are from the place of affluence and he could not keep up with her demands, so he had to call it a quit.
What she failed to understand was that it was a relationship where both of them should be building together, not a charity organisation. More so, she was comparing her friends' boyfriends to her own but failed to also see what her friends were also doing for their own. The height of it was that during her birthday, he got him some gifts, but because they were not up to what she expected because of what she had seen from her friends, she was sad to the point that she did not even wish her boyfriend happy birthday in his birthday which was a few days after her own. Well, he left for his own good. To make your relationship to work, you should avoid comparison.
Another foundation that we will look at to help build good relationships is empathy. Try to put yourself and your emotions in the shoes of your partner. When you understand and deeply share the feelings of your partner, you will learn how to relate with them in an appropriate manner. You have to understand that the relationship is not just about you nor does it revolve only around your feelings, but your partner matters too. By being empathetic towards your partner, you tend to build the impression that you care about them and their emotions too.
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It is sad that a lot of people have made relationship to look one-sided; that is, they feel that they are the only one that matter, not their partner. The truth is that it is called relationship because both of you matter together. If you want your partner to go a mile for you, you should also be willing to do the same thing for them. But much more importantly, you should also take a mile in their own shoes to know what they are feeling too. It is by showing empathy towards someone that you will prove to them that you actually care for them. This is why relationship has to move from sympathy to empathy for it to work.
The last foundation that should be considered as a way to build a good relationship is to have a shared interest. There are things that both of you naturally enjoy, you can engage in such activities and watch how the relationship will be strengthened. Always have in mind that when you have a shared interest or some amazing moments together, the bond between you and your partner will become stronger.
Thanks for reading