Happiness and joy may look similar but they are very different. Happiness is often triggered because of what happens to you or around you, but joy come from what happens inside you. A lot of people want happiness, and they pursue it through money, material things, achievements, relationships, social recognition, etc. They will believe that when they get a new job, or buy a new car, or achieve a particular thing, that they will be happy. But what they fail to understand is that the happiness that is built on external factors may not last. Once the excitement fades, or if the things that triggered the happiness goes away, they will become sad, and feel unfulfilled. But joy comes from within, and from a deeper sense of contentment, which can remain with you even if things do not go as you have planned.
Image from Pexels
You have to learn to build happiness because it is what will last even if the excitement fades. I am not saying that happiness is not good, but you should not base your life and your existence on emotions that can change with time. In order to build a lasting joy, there are things to put into consideration. Firstly, you have to learn to appreciate the things that you already have. You will be surprised to know that what you have is what some other people may be wishing to have. Imagine someone who is a university graduate but feeling sad and depressed because he has not gotten the kind of job that he wants. What he fails to understand is that there are other people who are wishing to be able to go to school but could not. You see, you have to learn to appreciate and be grateful for what you already have. Be grateful for life, for good health, for good relationship, for family, for opportunities, and very importantly, for the gift of another day.
In addition to appreciating what you have, you should not allow what is happening to control your inner peace. You have to understand that life will not always follow the path you have anticipated. You may experience challenges, disappointments, financial difficulties, rejection, and even moments when you feel like your efforts are not producing the way it should. If your happiness depends on everything working smoothly and perfectly, you will feel sad and unhappy when challenges come. But building joy means that you have conditioned your mind to remain hopeful even when the situations look unfavourable. It is true that you may not have a control over the situation, but you certainly have a control over your perspective and how to respond to the situation.
More so, you also need to find fulfillment in purpose, not just in pleasure. Pleasure may give you momentary satisfaction, but what gives your life direction and meaning is purpose. For example, when you buy something new for yourself, you will feel happy about it and excited. But when you contribute towards someone's growth, or when you pursue a meaningful goal, or when you use your ability to make something meaningful, you will feel a deep sense of purpose within you. This is why you have to discover what matters to you beyond momentary pleasure. Help people, develop your talents, pursue a righteous course, uphold your values. When you connect to a meaningful purpose, your life will experience a deeper sense of fulfillment.
You have to also stop comparing your journey with the destination of other people. By comparing yourself with others, you are robbing yourself of joy. Do not measure your progress with the achievements of someone else, so that you will not begin to see yourself as a failure. Understand that everyone, and that includes you, has a different destination, different background, different purpose, different opportunities, and even different timeline. That someone has succeeded does not diminish your potentials. So focus on becoming a better version of yourself, and work towards fulfilling your purpose.
Image from Pexels
Finally, stay with the people who are joyful, and build meaningful relationships. True joy can also be found in meaningful connection. Make out time to spend with your loved ones, encourage a friend who feels discouraged, forgive those who have wronged you, and extend your acts of goodness and kindness to people. When you start to contribute positively to the lives of others people, you will discover that joy is not only found in what you receive but what you give.
Thanks for reading