I would like to die
Silently
with nobody around to listen or take care of me
as always
he asked to come, girl
NS
deceptive
Beautiful
Incredible
out of my league girl
And now I'm standing at his door waiting to see him
I am 18 years old
i am sad
I am a waste of man
and potential
And I'm not expecting 18 to be a better, more enjoyable number
- more than
or 16
or 15
Instead I'm looking forward to lying on the floor
my scalp is bleeding red
but here i am
his mother answers the door
(she still doesn't like me)
and says the girl is back
is waiting
I can feel the old hug's eyes burning down my spine
He's there
And my heart by chance forget what it's doing
and accumulates
like the rest of me
she says hello
i say hello weirdly
But the girl just smiles at me and asks how am I doing
not good
Fine
i hate myself
yes i'm fine thanks for asking
There's a bunch of gossiping trees outside his house
Behind is a green dot
an area
she asks me if i want to
go with him
so here we are
sitting in a field together
And she asks me what's the matter
appears
it widens
It's not, it's a hole
flood comes out
my mom hates me
I'm a loser
I wish I was dead
she's just staring at me
I did not do anything wrong
I can't see his face because it's hidden behind the sight of water and
shameful
eye rain drops
leaking down my cheeks
i'm such a kid
suddenly it got hot
very hot
Very good
it's a hug
I love hugs even if I can't get them much
and suddenly
I
Say
NS
Secret
big one
that's what she said
she just stares
Atheist
i knew
me on
Then
yes i did
why is she coming closer
Is she going to kill me?
NS-
error 404 thought not located
diversion
diversion
diversion
reboot
his mouth is hot
like the rest of him
kind of soft and slightly wet
and really good
really very good
I don't know of any other word
wait what are the words
i forgot
his arms are around my neck
it's weird
it's fun
she pulls away
she tells me too
don't tell my mom she asks
I will not do it
That's the spirit
Identification
Rather
Keep
To
Self
And now my nose is bleeding.