"Don't cry, you little monster, come hug me," or my level of support.
Well, let's face it, I don't have the ability to be supportive. Maybe it's because I don't feel sorry for people, because I find pity demeaning. Pity means admitting a person's weakness, like "oh, you poor, miserable person.
My maximum level of support is that I let the person talk, I listen to him and understand, or I just sit next to him when he is silent.
And cases are different, of course, so to speak, different degrees of a person's grief.
What can you say to someone whose loved one has died? To me words are superfluous here. Well either I do not see the right words, because I have a special relationship to death. (I'll write about it sometime).
If the case is less tragic, my support is reduced to humor.
I am not able to coddle and lubricate others.
I treat tears calmly, they do not upset me - I do not have the urge to run and comfort a crying person, but also do not scare - no desire to run away at the sight of others' tears headlong.
Tears are a natural reaction, even healthy. If a person cries - that's good. It is worse when he is silent and keeps everything inside. From my own experience, I know that sooner or later, but there will come a breakdown on such a scale, it is better to go straight away and weep, than to arrange the apocalypse. I take men's tears calmly, too. They are human beings too. No one is ashamed to relieve his pain through tears.
Those who know me well are not offended by my meager ability to be supportive and comforting. Well, or they are offended, but they don't show it, because it makes no sense to me.
However, I would like to add that in my turn I do not demand support and consolation from others, because I understand that from my side I will not be able to answer with the same coin at the right moment.