Sometimes I get surprised by myself upon seeing the changes that were quite impossible for me to think of a few years back. Now I'm the person that I have never imagined, that's how life goes on, perhaps. There are certain changes that I'm gonna reflect on now that surprise me as well.
This is the first and foremost one that I wanna highlight. Due to this, the other ones were possible, and I'm sure about that. From childhood, I was a calm boy; I knew how to be patient with something. But I was not in the long queue waiting for that for days after days, it was like, I need that, okay im waiting, after a few days I leave it. But now? waiting for days, weeks, months, and now it's been a couple of years. Waking up every day and starting the day with a hope that I must go on to make things a little better, way better than now,
Alhamdulillah for this; without this one, nothing would have worked, would have fallen down long ago. I'm hopeful that as the days pass, my feelings get stronger, working harder, and these purposes are what keep us engaged and alive.
"ᵂᵒʳᵈˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵖⁱᶜˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ, ᵘⁿˡᵉˢˢ ᴵ ˢʰᵒᵘᵗᵒᵘᵗ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶜᵃᵐᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ!"
Now I can let go of things very easily. Things don't affect me like before. Like, in the past, if someone had said something against me, I would have burst out of anger and made things worse, no matter what the outcome. But now? People are crossing limits against me, and I'm the chill guy with a mindset, "Who cares?" as I'm not bothered with these because I have thousands of times more important stuff to do, to solve, to continue. It kinda surprises me how careless I have become with myself, like anyone can say anything and I don't just care because I got something else to deal with, like seriously? If in the past, I was asked this, I would have said, "I will punch straight in the face first and ask later." How fast the time flies!
I'm sacrificing myself each and every day. What else to describe? For the last two years, all that happened or I was in, it made me sacrifice in one way or another. In the material world, I ran out of resources to sacrifice. My years of dreams or things that I had accumulated by lots of hardships, or so got sacrificed, my priorities, needs, and all gets secrificed today or tomorrow. What do I do expext in return? Nothing in particular, but I do expect an end to this situation, need things to get better, and get back my sacrificed things slowly but steadily, and that's what the ultimate goal is.
To be honest, there are more. I just don't wanna talk about these anymore. I get frustrated whenever I look at these, think of these, that's what the fu.. im doing actually. No way I was meant to live a life like this, a living hell. But as I stepped in and there was no way back, I am moving forward, no matter how many hardships we face.
