The Liar

Life is what allows us to be ourselves, be true to ourselves, and be true to our surroundings. It's like being fearless of the consequences with the truth, no matter what and how the other people are gonna take the matter. Are you like this? Fearless, true to yourself, man of words, and that ideal personality.

There used to be days when I was like, “I don't need to lie to anyone for anything, I can be true and bold with everything, whether it may be bitter to you, but I don't care.” and from that to today’s me, a constant liar. Yeah, I do lie, over and over again, not by choice but by the situation I'm in. Trust me, sometimes I get astonished by myself thinking of how good I have become at lying to people, maybe it's the situation that has made me skilled in this. Not something I'm proud of, but rather want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Today, it was an outing, all the colleagues, the plan includes sports, swimming, eating, and more. Right now, they must have started to enjoy the moments, and here I am, sitting alone at home, eyes stuck at the screen, fingers on the keyboard. Just finished a topic that was due the whole week, and now writing this one. Isn't it amazing that I was supposed to be chilling with them, and instead I have confined myself to do this stuff. They have called me many times, texted me, and what did I do? Lied, as I already told you, I am a good liar, so I made up some excuses so I don't need to go, and turned off the internet so they don't bother with me and enjoy their time to their fullest. I bet they would, because life doesn't stop for anyone, right?

So why didn't I go? What's the issue?

To be honest, I wanted to go as well. Come on, I need breaks too, going through stress throughout the whole week, one after another, no way to refresh my mind. But the fact is, it's that very stress that kinda stuck me here, refrained me from going. There is tons of stuff, if not sorted out, these refreshment breaks won't be refreshing. Like, what's the point of going to enjoy when you gotta stress even after going there? You would be losing both ends.

So instead, I have chosen to stay at home, complete the pending stuff that would actually help me to come out of this stress in the future, which is hampering my present. Isn't it strange that we sacrifice our present for the future, whereas the future is completely uncertain? But still, we gotta be prepared, right? It's the future that keeps us moving; at the same time, the present should be enjoyed to its fullest, which is unavailable for a few like me.

Never mind, I hope I will come out of these shitty situations; the sacrifices I'm making now should pay for the future. Otherwise, it would be very unfair. Like, come on, there should be an end to everything, and eagerly waiting for that transitional period of me to step from the stress to relief.