For the last few days, I have felt like my body is desperately seeking rest. But I can't afford one, and pushing it harder and harder. All of a sudden, I'm facing a problem, maybe due to the extreme push, even after the body is extremely exhausted.
Like for the past few days, I'm not being able to wake up in time for the office, and I'm constantly getting twenty to thirty minutes late. I'm setting multiple alarms as usual. In the past, it used to be like, when the first alarm rings, I can tell that I'm stopping it, but for the last few days, I don't even know when the initial one or two alarms stopped ringing; the last ones kinda make up for it to wake up properly.
Yeah, sleeping cycle is kinda fu**ed up, last night I slept for three and a half hours, previous ones will be similar, four to five hours max. I'm having severe pain in my legs, at the ankles, and today suddenly felt a tight pressure in the veins of my legs. Are these the alarms? Or are the signals that my body is going through some tough time? Oh, overall weakness, headache, and shoulder pain, these are so constant that I don't feel them anymore, became a part of my daily life. There are more reasons that I can sense, extreme tension about life, getting stressed on various things, and more psychological stuff. So I'm not just getting troubled physically, but also psychologically as well.
One may say, I should take rest, go see a doctor, have some mental refreshment. To be honest, I want that too, but the ultimate problem is somewhere else, the constant clock that is ticking, that I'm running out of time to do this, that, and that. You know what I meant? Responsibilities, over and over again, I am in the same place, right? Root of everything, day by day, I'm getting better at handling these situations, but still far away from getting things done smoothly. Till then, things gonna go harshly most probably.
I'm not throttling down, no matter physically or psychologically; I have bottlenecks, and I must go on. As long as the mind stays determined to keep moving, the body can't help but support, right? The main control panel is the mind, sometimes the heart drives, which is more reckless in my opinion, lol.
So yeah, lemme see how far I can push myself until I'm forced to take that break for the body or so. Right this moment, I need the body to support me in turbo mode as it has always done for me.
