[sees kid crying] Kid: Im lost Me: that's ok. We're all lost. Happiness is an illusion. Life is meaningless. Death is around the corner. Bye
I bought a box of animal crackers... I bought a box of animal crackers and the label said, ""Do not eat if seal is broken."" I open the box and sure enough...
Procrastination is like masturbation: it is fun and feels good but in the end you've only fucked yourself.
Who is the Prime Minister of Israol? Netanyahoo
Birth certificate Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory