With my feet on the ground ...

There is something that parents do with the best intention in the world and that, without realizing it, leaves their children unprotected, we try to put all our energy into taking care of them from the outside world, from the environment and we invest very little energy in preparing them to live it, as it is.

And the difference between those two aspects is enormous, because a child who grows up knowing that his body belongs to him, that affection has contexts, and that he has the right to say no, that child builds a real self-esteem that protects him from within. And that's worth more than any external barrier we can put on it.

I know couples in me.prpia family, who do not want to separate so as not to "harm the children" but insult each other and fight horribly in front of the children.. It is often mistakenly believed that what hurts a child the most is that their parents separate, and the truth is that children are much more resilient than we think in the face of changes within the family structure.

A child does not know how to process their emotions, they, our children grow up witnessing two adults who do not find a way to stop fighting each other, arguing loudly, when there is no longer a relationship to defend, and that (sometimes) generates something that no child should carry, and that is *the feeling of learning a terrible false belief, that loving the partner (father or mother) implies betraying the other.

That's why when two people manage to understand that although their history as a couple is over, their history as parents is still intact, what they give that child is the certainty that the adults around them know how to handle the difficult, maturely between them, without charging it to the children.

Very little is said about the loss involved in migrating with children, because along with the decision to give them a better quality of life, comes the silent refusal to let their childhood resemble yours.

Children of separated parents, who grow up with roots in more than one place, do not grow up with less identity or with “incomplete” childhoods, they grow up with an ability to adapt, to read different contexts, to build a home wherever, which is exactly what today's world requires.

And if we, as a parent, are raising them this way, even if we do it from uncertainty and sometimes from guilt, without the floor of the example that as parents we can give; still, *we are leaving them the proof that love adapts, moves and builds in the home wherever it is.

As parents, we must provide our children with the ideal tools to have these conversations with criteria, structure and guidance. Because in the end, * what our children need most from us is not that we take care of everything, but that we prepare them for everything."

Nice day ✨

Janitze 🦋