I didn't understand what was wrong with me...

For the times you have to change clothes, lower your voice or change your style even to write, to fit in. This is a topic that is invisible to all people who, after the bewilderment of the first wake-up call, react with silence and resignation without fully understanding what was wrong with us.

I still remember the times when, as a mother, I have been the one who asked my children when they were teenagers to lower their voice, change their clothes or style for fear that they would be hurt by the judgment of others.

Many of these situations have happened to me, that's why I hug myself today.

I can't change my environment, I can only make sure that my voice, my joy of living, and my unique way of seeing the world are always welcome in my space here where I write daily, on my blog, on Hive, and in that of many other people who are open to loving me, accepting me, respecting me, just as I am.

This post makes a clear reference to what many people live because they are, think and act differently from the rest of the flock... "The black sheep”, “the ugly duckling”.

It is that and more, because there is an inner voice that escapes from simple categories such as "nationality" or momentary roles such as "work situation“ ”social status“, ”religion”,” culture". But it applies to many other situations. It goes beyond, for every time I've been misunderstood, for every time I've changed clothes to fit in, that I didn't understand what was wrong with me, for laughing out loud when something makes me happy.

Sometimes it is so difficult to accept that there are structural inequalities that we might have difficulty listening to someone who has lived a racist experience, which increase segregation, even with phrases like these ("That's why I don't join with those people, it's better they there and I here").

Recently, I met an experience on social networks that caused me pain. It is a devastating experience, especially when it is systematic...

I am very saddened by the xenophobia that many of our Venezuelan compatriots are suffering in Latin America and yesterday for defending a violent reaction of a Venezuelan woman, who attacked other people and was recorded by a Mexican actress.

To generalize to a whole people of any country in the world, the behavior of some, seems terrible to me.

Recently, I was the victim of a netizen of Peruvian origin who started saying that Venezuelans were "savages", that we were just going to screw over countries, to commit crimes, to scam. When I read what he was writing, I pointed out to him that if an individual is from any country, he commits a crime, so let him pay and assume the consequences of his actions.

I felt awful. I was polite and expressed to this Mr. Behind the keyboard, that generalizations were not good, and that they only led to more xenophobia and hatred, I only got as a response more insulting comments, from him.

In the end I understood that I should not continue to invest my time, nor my energy, in the discussion. But I was really disturbed by the situation.

Sometimes we end up assaulting someone who has already been assaulted because we do not know how to identify what is wrong with us. The first thing a person who is telling you about a racist, xenophobic or discriminatory experience needs is for you to ask them, "how did you feel?" Because first it's about connecting with feeling and then, if you choose, with doing, to act accordingly.

This can be achieved by listening attentively and without giving advice to those who resonate "connect” with you, like a cry that asks for empathy in a situation that generates pain. Do you find it difficult to be heard or to hear about experiences of racism, xenophobia or other discrimination?... follow in comments…

In the photo, There aren't enough beach days when I wear these cute shark face beach sandals, I hope they won't cause a misunderstanding, lol