Angry, and the next day regretful ...?

There are moments in life that last three seconds and take years. What I'm talking about is the crudest example of something that happens to all of us in different versions, because the difference between him and anyone who has said something he shouldn't have, who has reacted in a way that he later regretted, who has lost control at the worst possible moment, is just the context, because the mechanism, is the same.

What no one teaches us is that the intense emotion is not managed at the moment it explodes, it is managed before, in the process of understanding what is fueling it, of learning to sustain it when there is still time to choose, especially if the emotion is negative and drives us to make mistakes or do some harm to third parties, this I call premeditated emotion, and even sometimes with malice aforethought. Until we repent afterwards, we apologize, we assume the mistake; in the end repentance comes when the damage is already done, and there is no turning back.

Look, what changes the story is not what we do after the mistake, (in fact that's the easy part) the real change is what we build before so that mistake doesn't happen. It seems a lie, but an outburst without previous work can cost a lot. Do you know why? Because repentance is not always enough to repair the damage caused.

Aristotle, posed it in an almost surgical way in relation to rage, he says that anyone can get angry, and that's very easy, but that we can be able to graduate that energy of rage, anger, anger so that it is useful and not destructive is an emotional mastery.

Anger, seen from a biological perspective, is simply an alarm signal that tells us that we have crossed a boundary or an injustice has been perceived.

The problem arises when the reaction overflows and we lose the coherence between what we feel and how we express it. And that emotional mastery is trained, developed, and achieved with well-guided emotional work.

The real strength is knowing how to lose and keep building. I am going to share this personal experience with you...

Years ago a line manager, he told me, when he saw me very upset about something that had happened at level.I work in the managerial line of command Jani, you are always right, and really the reason for your anger does not cease to be true, the problem is not that you are right or not, but in how you react at that time I did not understand it, now with more than 30 years older (age), I understood and learned the lesson, with the help of professionals and my faith in myself (they are the perfect pair), I also learned that I can choose my battles better, that I must control my emotions, even in moments of despair. Being right and reacting well are two different things, and learning that, changes everything. Because the one who loses control by getting angry always pays more dearly, for the consequences, than the one who receives the damage, the lashing out.

The worst thing about anger is not now but tomorrow when maybe you wake up regretful, but the damage has already been done, because regret comes alone, the difficult thing is to build before, so that there is nothing to regret...

The impulse of anger comes from within and if we can avoid it, it's much better, because coherence, reasoning or reason always has to come sooner.

Janitze.🌷