Content Advisory
Hello, Hive community. Welcome to another blog post inspired by The Support & Kindness Podcast.
In Episode 11, hosts Greg, Rich, and Jay sit with a deceptively simple question:
“What does recovery look like to you?”
It is a question that seems to demand a clean answer, a specific date, a negative drug test, or a healed bone. But as the hosts explore, recovery is rarely a straight line. Whether you are navigating substance use, mental health challenges, chronic pain, or healing from a traumatic injury, the reality is often messy, complex, and deeply personal.
As Greg describes it in this episode, recovery isn’t a checklist:
It is a “winding river… sometimes it’s smooth and sometimes it’s rough, but it’s always changing.”
In this deep dive, we will explore the stories shared in the episode, expand on the science behind their experiences, and offer a comprehensive toolkit for anyone currently walking the path of healing.
One of the most damaging myths about recovery is that it must look like a steady upward trajectory. When we slip, flare up, or struggle, we often interpret it as total failure. However, psychological research into behavioral change supports Greg's "winding river" metaphor.
The Transtheoretical Model (Stages of Change) suggests that recovery is a cycle. People move through stages - from not being ready to change (Precontemplation) to taking action (Action) and keeping up the changes (Maintenance). Essentially, "relapse" or returning to old behaviors is often considered a part of the cycle, offering data for the next attempt rather than signifying the end of the road. (Boston University School of Public Health)
In the episode, the hosts validate this reality. Recovery can mean abstinence, but it can also mean safer coping skills, rebuilding trust, learning to live with injury, finding steadier mental health, or simply making it through a difficult day.
Jay opens with a candid account of a life shaped by substance use, beginning with his first drink at age nine. What followed were decades of struggle, over 30 treatment programs, and a feeling of being out of control.
“I had trouble up until my 20s... my friends put up with it, my mom put up with it, but then it got to a point where I was out of control.” - Jay
Jay’s turning point didn’t come from a lightning bolt of inspiration, but from a shift in strategy. Instead of looking at the terrifying expanse of "forever," he looked at the calendar.
“They say that if you hear enough in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, that one day something clicks. And one day something did click,” Jay shares. “I had gotten out of treatment and I thought, I’m just going to wait a week before I start drinking. Then I said I was going to wait two weeks… then a month.”
This approach aligns with the concept of "Atomic Habits," where focusing on small, immediate wins releases dopamine and builds momentum. By setting a goal that felt achievable ("one week"), Jay was able to build confidence. That momentum compounded into long-term change. Jay will celebrate 11 years sober on December 5, a milestone marked by a hard-earned 10-year coin from AA.
Jay’s story also highlights a critical public health issue: the intersection of chronic pain and substance use. After a drunk-driving accident led to a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and surgery, prescribed pain medication became a gateway to heroin.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), this is a common trajectory. Physical injury recovery cannot be separated from mental health and addiction support, as the body’s pain signals and the brain’s reward system are deeply intertwined. (NIDA: Pain and Substance Use)
Rich focuses on the world of physical recovery from athletic injuries. For him, recovery is visualized through tangible, weekly progress measured in a therapist’s office - another degree of knee flexion, more weight bearing, or a deeper squat.
“You get milestones with your therapist… These are milestones in your rehabilitation and recovery process, and they’re difficult, but they’re milestones that you reach.” - Rich
Rich emphasizes the “rehabilitation community” that naturally forms - the fellow patients and therapists you see regularly. This network provides crucial accountability and shared motivation.
This mirrors the famous "Rat Park" experiment, popularized by journalist Johann Hari in his TED Talk, "Everything You Think You Know About Addiction is Wrong." The premise is that the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection. When we are isolated (whether by injury or stigma), we suffer. When we are connected to a community (like Rich’s rehab group or Jay’s AA meetings), we have a framework for healing. (TED: Johann Hari)
Rich brings a note of hope to those suffering from physical setbacks. Injuries that were once "career-ending" - like major ligament tears can now be overcome with modern medicine and dedicated PT. But he stresses that you cannot neglect the mind while healing the body.
“There’s a mental health side of recovery to injury or to addiction that can’t be ignored.” - Rich
Greg frames recovery through a deeply personal lens: the transformation of his stepmother. He recalls childhood trauma, witnessing her struggle unmedicated and in the grip of addiction.
“I hated her at one point… Some of the things that happened to me as a child were absolutely despicable,” Greg says with raw honesty.
Addiction is often called a "family disease," but recovery is a family healing process, too. Greg watched his stepmother seek help, get sober, and find proper medication. The woman he once feared became “the sweetest lady you could ever wish to meet.”
This story serves two purposes:
It offers hope to families: People can change. The person you know in active addiction is not necessarily the person they will be in recovery.
It illustrates identity shift: Recovery isn't just about stopping a behavior, it's about becoming a new version of oneself.
Greg uses this to make a direct, compassionate appeal to listeners:
“I care. People care. I love you. You are worth it… you are worth the help. Seek help.” - Greg
One of the most poignant moments in the episode is the discussion of Grief and Identity.
Jay describes how injury didn’t just change his body, it changed his future. After his TBI, a doctor told him he couldn’t skateboard anymore. For a young man on the verge of being a pro skateboarder, this was not just a medical restriction, it was a loss of self.
Jay describes that moment as “a giant fork in the road” leading to pain and loss of identity. This is a phenomenon known as "Athletic Identity Loss," which can lead to significant depression and anxiety.
How do we move past the loss of who we thought we would be? Jay highlights what may be the most challenging milestone of all: Self-Forgiveness.
“Eventually you have to forgive yourself… it’s a necessary step of recovery in any fashion.”
Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on Self-Compassion, argues that self-criticism ("I should have done better," "I am broken") actually activates the body's threat defense system, making it harder to heal. Self-compassion, however, releases oxytocin and helps us feel safe enough to try again. (Self-Compassion.org)
Based on the wisdom shared by Greg, Rich, and Jay, here is a practical toolkit for anyone navigating their own "winding river."
If you slip, relapse, or have a high-pain day, try not to view it as a moral failure. Instead, view it as feedback.
What triggered this?
Was I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT)?
What support was missing?
This mindset shifts you from shame (which keeps you stuck) to curiosity (which helps you solve the problem).
Isolation fuels addiction and depression. You need a community.
For Substance Use: Explore Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or SMART Recovery (a science-based alternative).
For Mental Health: Look into the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for peer support groups.
For Physical Rehab: Engage with your fellow patients. Be the person who encourages someone else's progress.
Do not just track the "big" wins. Track the small ones to build dopamine and hope.
Did you wait one week?
Did you get out of bed today?
Did your knee bend 2 degrees further? \
Write these down. When you feel stuck, look back at the log to see how far you have traveled.
Rich and Jay both stress that you cannot separate the head from the body.
If you are in physical rehab, consider seeing a counselor to talk about the grief of injury.
If you are in addiction recovery, seek support for the underlying trauma or mental health conditions that the substance was masking.
Recovery, in all its forms, is about building a life you don’t want to escape from. It’s about replacing harmful habits with coping skills, isolation with community, and self-judgment with compassion.
As this heartfelt conversation shows, while the journey is yours alone to walk, you don’t have to walk it in silence.
If you are in immediate danger or thinking about harming yourself, please reach out:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call, text, or chat 988 (24/7/365). (988 Lifeline)
SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for treatment referrals. (SAMHSA)
The Trevor Project: Support for LGBTQ+ youth. (The Trevor Project)
If any part of this discussion resonates with you, we invite you to share your reflections or experiences in the comments below.
What does “recovery” mean in your life right now?
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Xgd0KDTJVxX3nZirv3tfA?si=-5TJRbFiS6q1uwD1CKMJgg
Please read before using these resources:
These resources are for informational and educational purposes only. They are not a substitute for professional mental health care, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
If you are in crisis or experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please reach out immediately to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or visit 988lifeline.org/chat for 24/7 free and confidential support.
Join our free, online support groups for compassionate connection and shared understanding.
All are welcome in these safe, peer-led spaces.
Living with a brain injury can affect memory, mood, physical ability, and relationships. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or have been managing for years, recovery is often long and complex. Our Brain Injury Support Group provides a compassionate online community where members share experiences, offer practical tips, and support each other through the ups and downs of life after brain injury.
Chronic pain is persistent and often invisible, taking an emotional as well as physical toll. This group offers hope, understanding, and connection—helping members reduce isolation, build resilience, and find practical strategies for daily life.
In a world that often misunderstands mental health challenges, our Mental Health Support Group offers a welcoming space to discuss depression, anxiety, and overall emotional wellness. Through open conversation and peer support, members work toward breaking stigma and finding practical steps for healing and connection.
To view the full calendar and sign up for any group, please visit our Luma Calendar:
➡️ https://luma.com/calendar/cal-oyT0VPlVTKCPxBw
Simply find the session you'd like to attend and register. A link to join the online meeting will be provided upon registration.
Get Together and Get Talking About Recovery
Description: A SAMHSA-hosted webinar on recovery, community, and resources; provides strategies for outreach and education.
Link:
Revealing Many Paths: Transtheoretical Approaches to Recovery
Description: A presentation on stages of change and behavior modification in recovery contexts.
Link:
Edited with the assistance of ChatGPT. Images created with Nano Banana and ChatGPT. I hold commercial licenses for each.
#podcast #kindness #mentalhealth #recovery #addiction #sobriety #community #supportgroups #chronicpain #cwh