Sometimes we need to subordinate our own need to be right in favor of preserving, enhancing, and growing our relationships.
Stephen Covey
Oof. One harsh thing about being an adult and always dwelling in responsibility-land is that we tend to have a lot of accountability burden heaped upon our shoulders. A by-product with not checking in with ourselves on occasion is that you can get sucked into the realm of always-being-rightus, and let me tell ya, that can make our relationships lack authenticity.
What am I blathering about you might be wondering at this point?
Well, I have spent a good chunk of my life around command and control authoritarian-style leaders. Many of them are trustworthy, upright folks, but the problem is, they don't inspire anyone because they demand obedience.
Obedience that isn't fully and freely given without coercion is garbage.
Because here's the thing, when you are in a relationship with someone who extends trust to you, a person who shows you through deed and word that they believe you have the grit, intelligence, and integrity to get whatever it is done, you will do everything in your power to execute.
Which is why the above quote is so dang oof-worthy.
It's hard being a parent, a boss, in charge of anyone or anything, and it's really easy to get sucked up into the mindset of always being right because we are issuing orders. At the end of the day though, we all know we can't possibly be right all the time, and being around a know-it-all stifles creativity and ingenuity.
So, from time to time, I take a moment and tell myself to back off. If I catch myself prancing around all elite and arrogantly in a spirit of all-knowing, then I immediately seek to practice some humility and adopt a posture of subordinance for a hot minute. Because at the end of the day that's what a good leader does, they serve. They are stewards, they practice humility, they embody the idea of Essi Quam Videri-To be rather than to seem.
I want to be someone who fosters growth by example and practice not seem like someone who knows all the right things to say.
Yes, the old actions speak louder than words saying fits in here.
Many times when my children come to me, or friends, who are experiencing hardship, I want to leap out and just tell them how to alleviate the pain because I care. But sometimes, sometimes people just need you to listen not say. A thing that I do in this instance is quite literally to bite my tongue and ask active listening questions. Sometimes people just need to get things out and be probed (in an intellectual sense South Park enthusiast, sheesh), so that they can come to their own conclusions. Conducting myself in this manner has helped me not only become a better family member, co-worker, and friend, but also seems to be helping people I interact with and care about grow and trust me more. It's kinda awesome!
But then again, being authentic always has been awesome😊
And as most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's not right for fighting iPhone, the header and footer images were made in Canva.