I've lost my discipline before and it wasn't just for a few weeks. It was for a few years.
Health challenges hit me a a few years back and everything fell apart. The routines I had built up disappeared. The momentum was lost completely. I spent a long time just surviving instead of moving forward.
Getting through the day was the goal. Anything beyond that wasn't happening.
It happens I guess, or does it? You're cruising along, all systems are working. You're doing the things you know you need to do. Then some shit happens and suddenly you're not doing any of it anymore. And it doesn't come back on its own. It is a fight to get it back. And if your not willing to fight, then it's not coming back and you remain an undisciplined fuck.
I didn't really start getting my discipline back until a few months ago. That's a long fucking time to be stuck. But here's the thing. It doesn't matter how long I was down. What matters is that I am getting back up.
Beating myself up about the lost time doesn't help. Trust me, tried that approach. All it does is make it harder to start again. You just add guilt on top of everything else and now you've got two problems instead of one.
I'm still working on building it back fully and not there yet. Tackling improvements to mind, body and spirit a little at a time. Can't fix everything at once, which I've tried that before. Doesn't work, you just burn out and end up back where you started.
Some days the routines click and I feel like my old self. Other days it's a struggle just to do the basics. But I keep showing up because the alternative is staying stuck forever.
Here's what I've learned. Discipline isn't something you find once and keep forever. It's something you lose and have to find again. The goal isn't to never fall off. The goal is to get back on no matter how long it takes.
The path is still there. I just have to walk it again. One day at a time. One task at a time. Eventually it stops feeling like such a fucking grind and starts feeling like normal again.
Anyone else rebuilding after a long time away? How's it going?
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using MS Paint and/or iPhone SE.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.
