I stared at the huge mess I had made for over five minutes and then proceeded to find my bed, lay on it and sleep; not because I wanted to but because if I stayed awake any longer, I may have lost my mind. This was the chaotic state I found myself in two days ago. Now let me tell you how I got myself here…
Two weeks ago, a client reached out to me to make a piece for his friend as a birthday present and I happily accepted this order. Moreover, I had made something similar a while back and I was very confident in my ability to recreate this order.
Fast forward to a few days later, the client made full payment for the crochet piece and in that excitement, I hurried to the market to get the necessary supplies for the project. Now, instead of getting the regular yarn I usually get– that still does the job perfectly–, I decided to go for a seemingly superior yarn because I always want the very best for my clients.
I got to work the same day and everything went smoothly till it was time to turn the granny squares into a full crochet piece. This too wasn’t a problem until I was done coupling the entire project. I realized that there were so many lints and being an acrylic yarn, the lints cannot be burnt off. Next, the tension was a bit too tight and a friend advised that I use hot water on the project to loosen the tension a bit. Before now, I had never used hot water on any of my projects but since I trusted this friend, I used hot water on it and disaster ensued! First, the black colour seeped into the white and I was mesmerized because this has never happened. Second, the project slacked a whole lot and basically became a shadow of itself. This was the point where I almost lost my mind because I just watched two weeks worth of hard labour slack. Locating my bed was the safest and best option at the time.
I know I wanted to scream so loud but no one would understand why I was screaming. Also, I could reserve that energy for more beneficial activities like sleep! A thousand and one thoughts ran through my mind as I lay on my bed. Do I call the client and begin apologizing for my error? Do I use my money to buy new supplies and try making the entire project in less than five days? Do I just give up and return the client’s money? Or do I** try** to salvage the situation? At this point, I didn't even have faith in my ability to salvage the project.
For two consecutive days, I refused to lay a finger on the project but all this while, I was silently praying to God for the courage and ability to finish the project. Eventually, the courage came and I reluctantly finished up the project.
On completion, I placed it on my mannequin and I, alongside every other person that saw it, was astounded. How did this slacked, multicoloured project turn out to look so good? A friend who I had complained to about the lints offered to lend me her lint remover to get rid of all the lints. After taking off the lints, the project looked really really beautiful. Anyone looking at me could see both expressions of relief and satisfaction.
I would be delivering this project to the rightful owner in two days and I would do so knowing that this project was a testament to my resilience. Giving up may sound very enticing and stress-free but it is never really an option.
After contemplating giving up over a hundred times, I still got up and got to work. But, what if I gave up? What if I succumbed to the intrusive thoughts and decided that I was never good enough to begin with?
This particular experience taught me a few lessons; “never give up” being the first on the list. I also learnt to do a test run before any major project, that being said, I will not be using that particular yarn again any time soon. Next, I learnt to actually take everything people say with a pinch of salt. I knew most of these lessons before but I never really put them to use in my daily life.
In my opinion, those who give up can be likened to those who didn't start anything either. The big question usually is “did you come this far only to give up?” Many people handle the disappointment and heartache that accompany obstacles in different ways, mine happens to be taking a break. Instead of absolutely discarding the project, take some time off and then return to it later on. This also applies to life, when we are faced with mentally,emotionally and physically draining challenges, we should try as much as possible to apply the three R’s: rest, recuperate and return.
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