For some reason, I burnt out.
My health has been going south.
My energy levels has dropped to a low level. I didn't feel like doing anything for the most part of the week.
I searched burnout.
Some people take weeks, months or years to get back to their motivated self.
I'm on the 4th day.
For one, I should not be spending so much time doing so many projects. That is something that I should be wary about.
I don't think that if I were to keep pushing and thinking I can do all of this in a short period of time will I succeed.
I barely pushed myself that much and I'm already here where I am.
Today is the 10th of September. I hope that I will be back to optimum work level by next Monday.
It's just plain simple. Don't put too much on the plate.
But then everything is important I say. But I don't have time I say.
Better late than never I guess.
I'm going to take time to write my novel, work on my projects and get work done.
I am on a lonely road here. But I hope that it will not stay this way forever.
It's not that hard to understand that I cannot be telling myself that I can do all these things when everybody is telling me that I am going burnout sooner or later.
The smart thing is to line things up in a row. Get things done one project at a time.
Maybe I should just give up on things that are not important.
I won't be saying too much here as I will be working on solutions that will not be made public.
I know everybody expects me to fail.
Till this very day, nobody has been giving me support for my Twitch.
Everybody sees me as some sort of failure.
I don't have to think about them cause, I will just go about my life doing what I need to do to survive.
In the end, I don't need anyone to support me. In the end, it is just about the people that have been with me from the start of my life. My family.
I will continue to fight the good fight.
Do what is necessary to live a decent work life.
I'm going to start picking myself up little by little.
Later, we're going to go to Sunway Pyramid to have a good meal, do a little shopping and I'll be back home taking a rest before tomorrow comes.
20 years has passed since my illusions have haunted me. I thought that in maybe 10 years, somebody will jump out of the shadows to put me in some sort of celebrity training school.
That never happened.
I don't want to wait another 20 years and see my life wither away still waiting for someone to pick me up and give me some kind of life that I dream of having.
Enough money to buy anything I want.
I believe it is time to grow up.
Pick things up a bit at a time. Pick up the pace. Get things moving.
I think you have heard this quite a lot of times. At least I feel I have said this a lot of times before.
I feel I can still grow and I will keep growing.
As of today.
I will keep growing.