It's been some time since I last published a post, so let's see how that goes.
In the last few years, a lot has changed for me, starting a career in IT, having a burnout and mental struggles to finding what I want to do in life. For a long while I was stuck in this increasingly annoying cycle, do everything for everyone, try to always be helpful etc. With time I started to see patterns that were concerning. The more useful or the more proactive or even helpful I became, the more everybody wanted to ask/demand from me.
Things usually start small, I try to impress an employer by doing a lot of work and doing it well, it helps me secure my position but as time goes by, I feel even more and more drained. My dreams and desires, the things that I used to chase and hustle for, started to be more and more distant, pushed to the backside of my mind, to never be remembered.
Looking back at how things have gone down these last years, there are a lot of things I would be wanting to change and maybe adjust. I would believe that in these last few years I was too focused on progressing my career that I had forgotten the core idea of why I bothered to do it in the first place. Not the takeaways (Uber Eats and such, not the somewhat fancy phone. I started working and chasing my dreams, so that I could have the better things in life - to be able to simply lie on grass during the shiny summer days. The sunshine hitting my face, is always a pleasant feeling and makes me think of life and its beauty.
Instead of the above, I am working as any other person, have fewer results than I would have liked to have. Without going into too much details, some things were avoidable, some, not so much. What I wouldn't be too fussed about, are the lessons I learned from my mistakes, which have significantly changed my perspective on things. I am now working on moving forward in life with where I am at and to be honest enough with myself, that I want the simple freedoms back, I once had.
