Listen to yourself

I was off on vacation for almost 3 weeks straight. Wouldn't say that I had done a whole lot but that's besides the point.

On the last day before work, I had this dread come upon me, that I didn't want to go back to work. I started to talk myself out of it as per usual. At one point I noticed that I am pushing these thoughts down and decided to take a different route/path. Initially thought ' am I really that lazy that I want to do nothing?' I still don't quite have the answer to that question but the answer might not be as black and white as I would have thought.

What if it's not necessarily about the message but the presence of it?

Sure, it's a lot easier when I get paid for resting and doing the things that I want. Sure, it's not pleasant to have these thoughts in my head as it goes against the standard dogma of "hard work" and such. I used to live in the countryside, so I know what hard work is and yet that sort of work felt more authentic and rewarding despite being more demanding. Something to think about, eh?

What I am trying to say is that listen to yourself and understand what exactly is going on. For me, it seems like a alert that I actually desire change.