That worn-out, banal word that is love. Most find it so annoying that they won’t even read this blog thinking they’ll have to endure the cries of others again. But how else to name that feeling? That completely unique feeling that accompanies us all our lives? I'd like to say that I'm not going to whine. Just keep in mind there are so many thoughts I would like to express, excuse me for the cohesiveness.
I know what love is. I know what love is for family, homeland, animals, money... I know what love is for another person. Actually, no... When it comes to mutual love with another person, I've never experienced it. But I have loved, and loved strongly, it was just love without an answer. Can this, in general, be called love?
Why is it said that love makes a person happy, gives some meaning to life, if for the rest of my life (well, more precisely for most of my life) love has brought only pain? I was given some hope the whole time, but I was still hurt and at the same time hurt others who loved me. After all, things shouldn't be so. Yet, I see a lot of people around me who love each other. I often try to imagine myself in their place and I know that I would be completely happy if I had that. I wouldn't need anything anymore, just her.
Oh, how I envy them now. These days, finding someone you really love and who will love you is not so simple. I don’t know if I will ever be able to love another person the way I once loved. Well, I know a lot of people say that, but, more often than not, it turns out to be some kind of children's games or one-day crazies.
But my situation is different. When you love unanswered for longer than some couples stay married, it can even turn into some kind of psychological trauma. But over time, I got used to that disgusting feeling and gradually suppressed it. Now that person is no longer poisoning my life just by being there. Now I am free, I can run freely and love others. However, I know very well that that love can be awakened from her deep and, hopefully, eternal sleep. It would take very little effort.
I trust that one day, I will meet someone who will always be there for me to grab, hug, kiss, talk to, or listen at any time. Everyone gets it in the end. I just never in my life want to feel what I felt before. I don’t know if I’d even endure seeing a loved one with another person. It would either upset me or make me too angry.
Well, my writing is all messed up. But since no one will read this incoherent piece anyway, there is not much difference :)
