Learning Forward Without Proof

I look closely at my effort, and feel the quiet sting of realizing how much of what I believed was comfort in disguise, and how often I avoid what would truly challenge me,
I look closely at my effort, I notice how quickly my confidence collapses at the moment when the outcome does not match the picture I carried in my head,
I look closely at my effort, I confess that I still want my work to prove something about me even while I know that need is the very thing that distorts what I create,
I look closely at my effort, am I pulling away because I feel exposed or because I am tired of trying,
I look closely at my effort, I stay long enough to feel the discomfort without escaping it…