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One thing I am slowly learning about myself is that I don't always have to say yes to everybody.
Before now I used to find it difficult to tell people no, If somebody asked me for help and I had the chance to help I would just agree, even when I already had my own problems to deal with. Sometimes I would even disturb myself just because I didn't want the person to feel bad.
But as time goes on I started realizing that always saying yes can also affect you and
there were times when I had something important to do but somebody would ask me for a favour and I would leave what I was doing to help the person then Later when I got tired or couldn't finish what I was supposed to do. I would start blaming myself.
At some point I asked myself, "Why am I doing this to myself?"
That's when I started learning that helping people is good, but you also have to think about yourself.
Saying no doesn't automatically mean that you are a bad person, Sometimes you simply don't have the strength, money, time or energy to do what somebody is asking you to do and honestly, there is nothing wrong with admitting that.
I am still learning this though
Sometimes when I say no, I still feel somehow because I'm used to helping people But I'm beginning to understand that I can't solve everybody's problems and I also have my own life to live, my own plans, my education and things I want to achieve.
Another thing I have learned is that you have to be careful about people who only remember you when they need something,
There are people who can go weeks without checking on you but the moment they need help your phone will start ringing. Before I would just help without thinking about it but Now I try to look at the situation properly, If I can help I will but If I can't, I will simply explain that I can't do it.
I'm also learning not to feel guilty because someone is disappointed with my decision, Not everybody will understand you and that's okay.
Personal growth for me is not only about making money or achieving big things. Sometimes it is about learning small things about yourself and changing the way you handle life.
I'm learning to protect my peace, manage my time better and stop putting unnecessary pressure on myself and
I'm also learning that I don't need to prove that I'm a good person by constantly doing things for other people and I can care about people and still have boundaries.
I can help somebody and still say no another time.
I can love my friends and family and still take care of myself and honestly I think that's something many of us need to learn.
We sometimes worry too much about what people will say when we refuse to do something But at the end of the day, you are the one who has to deal with the consequences when you keep ignoring your own needs.
I'm not saying I have completely mastered it and I know I'm Far from it and I'm still learning and there are still times when I find myself agreeing to something before thinking properly But at least now I stop and ask myself, "Do I really have the time and strength for this?"
Little by little I'm becoming more comfortable with being honest about what I can and cannot do.
And I think that's also part of growing up,
Sometimes personal growth is simply learning how to say "No, I can't do this right now" without feeling like you have done something wrong
