Looking at where I am, I’ve come to realize that what doesn’t kill a person ends up making them stronger, and that’s life for us. I might sound serious here on a subject that people no longer take as seriously because it has become so common. What I’m talking about in this blog is heartbreak.
I haven’t been in many relationships, but the few I’ve had have taught me valuable life lessons and changed my mindset about relationships.
My second relationship hurt me deeply. I was completely in love with the lady, while she only had about 5% of her heart in it. I was all in, giving 100%, but it was clear I was the only one in the relationship. She had emotionally checked out, but I kept pushing on.
I had heard many things about her and her supposed new relationship, but they were hard to believe. Then one day, it happened, she boldly told me that nothing was working and that we should break up. I needed that breakup too because I was already suffering emotionally, but when she suggested it, my heart couldn’t accept it. I started begging again, but this lady was already far gone.
I accepted the breakup and endured the pain to the point that I swore if I ever survived it, I’d never fall in love again.
But I did survive, and my perspective on relationships changed. I realized I had been approaching relationships the wrong way.
It’s not that I now go into relationships to do harm or to get revenge for the heartbreak I experienced, no, not at all. I now assess things more carefully, especially the compatibility of interests between me and the lady. I no longer pour everything out in a relationship, that only leads to vulnerability. I match the energy that’s given. If I see it’s not working or that the lady is losing interest, I initiate a conversation so we can assess the relationship. If it’s something we can work on, we’ll do so; if not, we’ll gladly go our separate ways. Life is not hard.
Maybe this isn’t the perfect approach to relationships, but it’s what my heart and emotions have adapted to after that heartbreak.
