Mission accomplished! As I mentioned yesterday, my dumb ass forgot that I had to pick up a bib the day before the Portland Marathon, and as I was unable to take off work in time for the ~3 hour public transpo ordeal that would’ve gotten me to town in time for the bib pick up.. well, lesson learned. But, I had still committed to a goal, and I don’t need an official event to let me know that I accomplished it. Instead, I came to town despite my own stupid mistakes, and decided I would just see if I could run 26.3 miles within the allotted timeframe on my own.
So, I ran a marathon. Just to prove to myself that I could. A few months of sporadic training after years of not running… man, I’m gonna be honest, I really didn’t think I was gonna be able to do it. In fact, right after I signed up back in August, I remember thinking ”dude, bad call”. But I did it. In just minutes over five hours.
I’m aware that’s not really a good time. And frankly, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass. I just wanted to see if it was something I enjoyed; and yes, it is. I hate running in the cold, and with winter approaching I probably won’t do much of it; at least not up by the mountain. I don’t really think I’ll be doing much other than working and snowboarding for a solid six months or so come November, to be frank. But who knows? But, long-term, I think I will continue running, and hopefully much more.
I’m particularly proud because I feel like there’s a lot of up-front discouragement when it comes to something like this. Maybe because some people have a big head? I don’t know. A lot of you can’t run a marathon without training nonsense. When I first set the goal, I realized with my time frame that I had to be extremely adamant in my training if I was going to do it. When that inevitably slipped, I bounced back and forth between calling it a dumb commitment and doing it in defiance of the nay-sayers. The latter is why I decided to do it with pretty much no training. The first three miles suck, but after that it becomes like a game. Not an easy game, a lot of leg-wobbling and wondering if I could possibly keep going, but a game nonetheless.
I’m not trying to complain. The point of this is more of the age old don’t let these motherfuckers discourage you vibe. If someone tells you that “you don’t want to” or “you can’t just” do something.. well, show them that they can fuck right off and do it anyway. People love to assume that other people haven’t thoroughly thought things through; that just because they don’t want to do something, that means you don’t either. It’s belittling. It’s your life, life it to it’s fullest babe. Do exactly what YOU want to do with it.
Unless that involves harming others. Or negatively impacting their lives. I feel like that should go unsaid, but apparently not for everyone.
I mean it. Every “best” decision of my life was something I did after years of putting it off, due only to the discouragement of others. It’s no way to live, and I feel like I lost a lot of my 20s to that. Because I believed them. Don’t be me. Be you.
Honestly, it couldn’t have been a better day for my first marathon attempt. I got going around 8:30, later than I had hoped; but my anxiety about potential under-preparedness had me walking back and forth to the hostel repeatedly. I was mainly concerned about water. I’m getting to know Portland decently, but as with any city, or town or place in general, really, it’s hard to find places for water. And bathrooms. But I managed.
I thought about tracing the actual marathon’s path but it seemed unpleasant without the road closures and traffic directing that comes with an official marathon. So I kind of just chose my own route; aiming mainly to keep it as flat as possible. Which is admittedly pretty easy here in Portland, especially for someone used to the hilly landscape of Seattle. I took a break around the 14.5 mile mark but other than that kept moving pretty consistently the whole time.
I did kind of accidentally end up in a few parks. Even in residential neighborhoods, running alone on the streets, covered in sweat and woozy.. I’m a little too self-conscious for that still. I’m working on it, but a childhood of feeling like I would always stick out like a ready-to-burst pimple in the world has left me here. So I started heading for the hills whenever I saw them in the not-so-distant backdrop. Mostly, though, I just stuck to the river.
I’m not gonna lie, I’m definitely feeling it today. As one would expect. The farthest I’ve run leading up to this is around ten miles; not even a half-marathon under my belt. And without proper running shoes, my feet are more sore than my legs to be perfectly honest. But I’m damn proud of myself.
By the time the run was over, the morning fog(that was ever so welcome) had lifted, and it turned out to be an absolutely beautiful day. I mean, this happened before the run was over, I think I was just so tunnel-visioned after a certain point that I didn’t notice until I was walking that last mile. Runner’s high is a real thing.
I went back to the hostel to take a much needed shower and lay in my bunk for a bit. My legs had never felt so good. Stretching was cathartic. I could’ve laid there forever, especially surrounded by curtain in the already blacked-out bunk room. There’s plenty of lighting, just not from the windows. It’s not a DUNGEON. But I wanted to make the most of my time in Portland, considering I imagine I’ll be here much less often come winter. So I forced myself to climb down the ladder, put my shoes on, and carry my pajama-bearing ass out the door.
The rest of the evening was pretty mellow. Some walking around, some reading by the river, checking out a few nearby places. Just kind of marinating in it. I accomplished what I was told I would likely not be able to. And it felt good. Take that, you bastards 🖤
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