It's a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining from a clear blue sky, the temperature is in the low 80s, the garden is finally responding to the long-overdue warm weather, and my cat survived being outdoors all night. We have a new air conditioning system in the house and it works wonderfully. These are all good things.
And then there are the relationships in my life. My husband of 37 years started binge-drinking vodka about two months ago, allegedly to ease his assorted aches and pains. He hasn't done it for about ten days, but I am not counting on it not happening again. I have begun to attend Al-Anon meetings. I also took him to a pain management clinic and they ordered x-rays. Of course, we have to wait a couple of weeks 'til the doctor has time to see him again and tell him what the x-rays revealed, if anything.
My youngest daughter is in her late 20s. She is definitely "old enough to know better." But she has become a highly codependent person. She has been in a series of abusive relationships for ten years, and just left the most recent lousy boyfriend and moved back to our house. She is an emotional train wreck and her counselor is on maternity leave. So she expects me to listen to her hash over everything that happened, everything he did wrong, everything she did wrong, etc, etc. She could learn not to be codependent if she wanted to, but right now she's not ready to hear about that. She just wants to rant about all the physical damage she would like to do to his personal body parts.
I can't fix either of those two people who I love. I didn't cause their problems, I can't control their problems, and I can't cure their problems. They have to deal with it themselves. I am learning to take care of myself. so I am reading helpful books, spending time with my friends, and engaging in activities I enjoy. It's the best I can do right now, along with lots of time spent in prayer. I'm also trying to figure out how to be supportive without being an enabler. That's tricky.
Under the circumstances, I don't know whether I will be writing more than usual or less than usual. Time will tell. Right now I believe I will work on my sewing project.
