Me: Bud. You're sitting in my spot.
Bud: Huh.
Me: I'm serious. Move.
Bud: People will think you are cruel if you shove me off the couch.
Me: I'm the Human. It's MY couch.
Bud: (silence)
Me: I'll be over here on the chair if you need me. (sigh)
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From @sararmullis