Bud: I want to go out. Now. Me: You were just outside. Bud: I can't remember. Open up. Me: I'm NOT your personal doorman. Bud: Could'a fooled me.

Me: Bud. You're sitting in my spot. Bud: Huh. Me: I'm serious. Move. Bud: People will think you are cruel if you shove me off the couch. Me: I'm the Human. It's MY couch. Bud: (silence) Me: I'll be over

Bud: I'm hungry. Me: I just fed you. Bud: I'm hungry. Me: You are getting fat. Bud: I'm hungry. Me: You are NOT going away, are you? Bud: I'm STARVING. Me: (sigh) Do you want a cookie, Bud? Bud: If you

Bud: What was in there? Me: Ice. Bud: Why? Me: We were cooling off some drinks. Bud: Beer? Me: Yeah. Bud: I like beer. Me: I know. Bud: Why didn't I get any? Me: You're old. Beer's not good for you...you

Bud: Do you think there's a doggie dating service out there? Me: Why? Bud: I'm craving canine companionship. Me: There's already two other dogs in this house. Bud: What's you point? Me: You barely tolerate