#humorwriting

I’m the Humor Outcasts Writer of the Week! They had very nice things to say about me. Some of them were even true.

Hi everyone! I'm new to steemit community. Please call me rence (not my real name). I'm an aspiring musician. I can play guitar, piano and I can also sing. But please do not expect too much from me. I'm

Bud: Get a move on, Human...I’ve got a hot date tonight. Me: Get out, Bud. I’ve got guests tonight and don’t have time for your canine carnalities. Bud: Ha. Good one. You know I’ve been planning this

Bud: Don’t look at me. My hair hurts. Me: So you crashed our neighbor’s party last night, huh? Bud: They were sooo loud. I couldn’t sleep. Me: What. You couldn’t just go over and politely ask them to keep

Me: How's it going, Bud? Bud: Mmmm...thinking about reporting you to the ASPCA. Me: Really. Bud: Yep. You mistreat me. Me: I see... Bud: Seriously. Me: You look pretty comfy to me right now. Bud: Eh, you're

Bud: 🎶Ta-da🎵...Once again, the Olympics are upon us. Me: Which is why you are taking over my yoga mat? Bud: Athletes from ‘round the globe will convene in South Korea for an exhaustive demonstration

Bud: I want to go out. Now. Me: You were just outside. Bud: I can't remember. Open up. Me: I'm NOT your personal doorman. Bud: Could'a fooled me.

Me: Bud. You're sitting in my spot. Bud: Huh. Me: I'm serious. Move. Bud: People will think you are cruel if you shove me off the couch. Me: I'm the Human. It's MY couch. Bud: (silence) Me: I'll be over

Bud: I'm hungry. Me: I just fed you. Bud: I'm hungry. Me: You are getting fat. Bud: I'm hungry. Me: You are NOT going away, are you? Bud: I'm STARVING. Me: (sigh) Do you want a cookie, Bud? Bud: If you

Bud: What was in there? Me: Ice. Bud: Why? Me: We were cooling off some drinks. Bud: Beer? Me: Yeah. Bud: I like beer. Me: I know. Bud: Why didn't I get any? Me: You're old. Beer's not good for you...you

Bud: Do you think there's a doggie dating service out there? Me: Why? Bud: I'm craving canine companionship. Me: There's already two other dogs in this house. Bud: What's you point? Me: You barely tolerate

Bud is a 17-year old Shih-Tzu who deigns to share his residence with my husband and me in beautiful Coral Gables, Florida. Now, YOU may think that is old for a dog, but Bud has other ideas. Since he and