One of the hardest truths that a lot of people need to understand is this: more often than not, why it looks like something is not changing around you is that something needs to change within you first. It is easy to blame people, situations, systems, or circumstances when progress seems slow or nonexistent. But what they fail to understand is that some other people are also exposed to the same situations, yet they are doing well. The moment you shift your focus from external excuses and start to focus within, you will realise how a lot of things will change within you, and will also be reflected around you.
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There was this friend of mine that I observed for a while, and I noticed that she has been in several relationships, with each of them not lasting more than 3 months at most. Each time, she would always talk about how relationship does not work for her. The easiest option she could think of was to change relationship, yet the problem did not get solved and nothing changed. But when I got close and observed her well, I discovered a lot of things that she was doing that might be repelling men from her. She was very possessive, nagged excessively, was controlling, with a sprinkle of arrogance, simply because she felt she was beautiful.
I had an extensive talk with her and explained to her that the relationships may not be as bad as she thought. I mean, everyone coming to her will not be as bad as she claimed they are. And if everyone is bad, then the problem might not even be from them. I helped her to see some of her attitudes that might be repelling men from her. I told her that if she wants change, then she has to be the change first. She listened and hid to the advice. She discovered that her beauty might attract men, but she needed something beyond beauty to keep them. So she started working on herself and her attitude, and of course, she got better. At the moment, she is in a serious relationship that has lasted more than 6 months and they are already planning to get married. You see, if you need change and it looks like the change is not coming, then you have to change yourself first.
Life often reflects what goes on inside you, and who you really are on the inside. Trust me, if your habit and your attitude remain the same, your results will likely remain the same as it was. A lot of people want different outcome in life, but they are not willing to adapt a different mentality, a different mindset, attitude, and discipline. They hope for change to happen for them, but they absolve themselves of being part of the change itself. What you need to understand is that you are an agent of change, but first of all, to yourself before outside. You cannot do the same thing and expect a change in the outcome.
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It is worthy to note that changing yourself does not automatically mean that you are the problem, rather it means that you are the solution. It shows that you have decided to take ownership of your life, and that you have more control that you ever thought you had. Trust me, when you improve your mentality and your thinking, your decisions will also improve. Of course, when your decisions improve, then your direction will also improve. This is when your life will begin to experience change. Changes rarely happen randomly, rather they are direct effect of actions.
There are times that the change you need is just a change in your attitude and your mindset. A negative mindset can prevent you from seeing opportunities, while a positive mindset will open you up to a lot of opportunities that you never knew existed. More so, when your perception and your focus change, a lot of things about you will also change. You are most likely to look like what you constantly look at. In the same way, when you focus on possibilities and positivities, you will position yourself for growth and progress. If you want the world around you to change, then be the change. That is, change on the inside first before you look outside.
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