A lot of people have been taught to always speak the truth. From the homes, to the community, to schools, etc, a lot of people emphasise the need to say the truth. But when I grew up, I realised that you can be saying the right thing, but your tone and the way you say it can end up hurting someone instead of helping them. The truth is a very potent, powerful and important tool, but just like every other tool that is known to humankind, the truth should be used wisely. Saying the truth without having love in your heart and without exercising wisdom can easily make it to become a weapon. You may be right, you may be truthful, but that is not where it ends. After all, what is the benefit of winning an argument without helping the person understand the truth?
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Have knowledge of the truth. However, knowing how to communicate the truth is very important. You may have a very valid point, you may posses the right information, and you may speak facts, but the manner of delivery can make people to reject your message. In more cases than none, the way you do things is much more important than what you do, and this includes speaking the truth. I have heard people pride themselves as being brutally honest. But what they fail to understand is that honesty is never an excuse for being rude, or to disrespect people, or insult them.
There will always be ways to press your points in a truthful way without sounding rude, without bringing in harshness, and without hurting people. You should keep in mind that honesty is not a call to humiliate other people. While speaking, you have to put feelings and emotions into consideration. This is where emotional maturity comes into play. Speaking the truth does not mean being insensitive or ignoring the feelings of others. You should understand that every human has weaknesses, insecurities, and even their moments of vulnerabilities. If people feel hurt, discouraged, or emotionally down after communicating with you, then it is obvious that you did not do the right thing. After all, the purpose of saying the truth is not to prove that you are smarter than everyone else, rather it should be an avenue to make positive impact.
In addition to considering the emotions of people, you have to also consider timing. Even when your words and your message are true, and when they are factual, the time you say them can have great influence on how they are received. Imagine correcting someone in a public gathering when you could have simply corrected them in private. They might feel humiliated and embarrassed, and they may not even take the correction. You see, the purpose would have been defeated because of wrong timing. The demand of wisdom should make you to wait for the right moment. This does not mean that you should hide the truth, nor does it mean that you should avoid difficult conversation. Rather it is understanding that right timing can make your message to be understood better.
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Your words should be chosen with carefulness, caution, and courtesy. Words have the power within them to influence, encourage, and destroy. It is true that you can correct someone's mistakes, but do not make it look like you are attacking their personality. Instead of telling someone "you did it foolishly," you can simply tell them "you could have handled the situation better." Even though the both statements expressed dissatisfaction, but the first statement attacked the person's personality, while the second one addressed the behaviour.
Finally, you have to learn when to speak and when to remain silent. There are some truths that, no matter how you say them, and no matter when they are said, they will be counterproductive. When you perceive that speaking will be counterproductive, and that silence will be better, then nothing stops you from remaining silent. More so, there are times that silence can give you the required time to understand a situation. If speaking will not serve any constructive purpose, then you can choose to remain silent.
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