A lot of the challenges that is facing many people in this present world is centered around how to live peacefully with people. If you are living in peace with others, you will not want yo attack them, you will not plan ill things about them, and a lot of things will thrive well, even economically. The truth is that each day, we meet people, and each of them have their own unique way of thinking, behaving, and maybe a different way of responding to situations. Someone can be very patient, while the other person can be quickly irritated. Someone can give generously, while the other person might be selfish. Some may understand you, while some may easily and quickly misunderstand even your purest intention. You may not be able to change everyone you meet, but you can learn to understand them.
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You have to understand that everyone is built differently. This is why you cannot expect everyone you meet to think, behave and act like you. You may be honest, but you should not expect everyone to also be honest. You may be a generous giver, but you should not also expect everyone to give generously. You may be a very caring person, but you do not also have to expect people to show you the same level of care. Why people are different may be because of their background, upbringing, belief, values, and personal challenges. The same thing that looks obvious to you may not be obvious to someone else. As a matter of fact, what you consider an act of kindness may be misinterpreted by someone else. When you understand that people are built differently, it will make you be more patient with them.
It is your understanding of the differences of others that prevents unnecessary conflicts. One of the reasons behind so many conflicts is that people are so quick to act without even taking time to understand the other person's perspective. You will be surprised how a little misunderstanding has destroyed friendships, broken relationships and marriages, and has created division among colleagues. Imagine coming to work and greeting your colleague but he did not respond. You may be quick to assume that he is snubbing you, or that he is disrespectful, or even proud. But maybe the person may be lost in deep thoughts over a major challenge that he is facing in his family that he did not even hear your greetings. You have to understand that, sometimes, the way people behave has absolutely nothing to do with you.
You have to also learn to manage your expectations of others. It might be very challenging to live in peace with people when you expect too much from them without putting their character into consideration. You may give someone your very best, and then you will expect them to give you their own very best. And if they do not give you their best, you might become disappointed. I am not saying that you should stop doing good to people. But you should understand that not everyone will reciprocate or respond to your kindness with kindness, some may even misunderstand it. You can still be kind without being bitter if your kindness is not reciprocated.
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It is worthy to note that understanding does not automatically mean that you should accept everything. Even though you should live in peace, it does not mean that you should open your arms and welcome disrespect, mistreatment, and manipulation. It is possible to understand why someone behaves badly, but you should not allow the behaviour to destroy your peace. You can even forgive them, but yet, you can set a healthy boundary. Everyone cannot be part of your life, so know when to walk away. It does not mean that you hate them. True understanding will help you to know when to speak or when to keep quiet, and when to forgive or when to protect yourself.
I have come to understand that life will become a lot easier when you stop trying to make everyone you see to behave according to how you expect them to behave, and rather understand them. It is true that you may not be able to control the actions of people, their attitude, their intentions, and their decisions, but you have control of the choice of your response towards them. Always remind yourself that understanding will not make you weak, rather it will make you a wise person.
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