There was a time when one of my friends told me about how he has been nursing an idea and how it has taken him a very long time to decide. From our discussion, I got to find out where the problem was coming from and why he was stagnated. The reason was that he kept asking his friends for opinions. Some would encourage him, while some would discourage him, so he kept delaying. He did not start because he was waiting for everyone to agree with him. I had to advise him to start because everyone will not agree with him and it does not matter. So he heeded and started. If he kept waiting for general approval, he would not have made any move at all. In life, you do not need the vote of everyone to make it, you just need your own vote, and then keep building yourself and your values.
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One of the things that have distracted a lot of people the most from achieving personal growth is the constant need for approval. You will be surprised how many people shape their decision, their dreams, their actions, and even their dreams because of what others will think. They always seek validation before taking any step, they pause and hesitate before they act without encouragement, and they also measure their worth with the standards of public opinion. But what they fail to understand is that chasing approval can limit someone's potentials, and can even prevent them from building the kind of life that they have ever wanted.
You have to understand that approval is temporary and unpredictable. That is; one person can praise you, but someone else can criticise you. One person may welcome what you are doing, but to another person, it may not sit well them. This is why you should not rely on external validation, so that it will not affect your confidence negatively. It is true that you may feel good when people approve you, but what happens when they do not approve you? Depending on validation from people will only make your actions to be controlled by opinions and not by purpose.
This is why you have to build value that is stable and rewarding. Value is what you offer; like your skills, your knowledge, your input, your character, work, ethics, your ability to solve problems, etc. When you focus on building, improving, and developing yourself to be more useful, your confidence will grow naturally. You will not need public or external validation to remind you of your worth. At this point, what people think or not, and their opinions, will not make you feel less of yourself because you know the value you bring to the table.
It is worthy to note that chasing approval often leads to inaction. You may even see yourself unnecessarily delaying to start something simply because you are unsure how others will feel about it or how people will react to it. You may also avoid taking risks because of criticism. Over time, this fear will just make you stuck at a place. But when you shift your focus to building values, your mindset will change as well. That is, instead of asking what people will say about this step you want to take, you will rather ask yourself how you will improve and get better. It is this mindset that will lead you to growth.
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You have to know that it is not everyone that will support or understand your journey. Some people will doubt you, others may criticise you, or even try to discourage you. So if you constantly seek their approval, you may not move forward. What you should be concerned about is not what others feel about your actions, but how your actions will lead to your growth and also add value to the lives of people. By this, you will be motivated by your progress, not by people's opinions.
When you focus on building values, you will attract opportunities. For example, when you develop your skills, improve your mindset, learn more, deliver quality services to people, people will begin to notice you, and it will open you up to opportunities that you never knew existed. Opportunities come, not because of approval, but because you have something to offer in terms of value, and something to bring to the table.
Thanks for reading
