I have always believed that in order to learn, in order to make progress, you must first fall. Yet, falling is only half the job done, EVERYONE falls, nothing special there. What comes next, the action taken right after, is the thing that sets the greats apart from the commoners.
Now, I do believe I'm kind of a "fitness freak" in a way, to an extent surely. I believe it was always there inside of me. Whether it be the days from the past, a time when a much younger and mischievous version was in control. Or the present, where a calm and much laid-back adult sits behind the wheel. Whatever the age and size, I have always found fitness and bodybuilding intriguing.
As soon as I laid my eyes on a pair of dumbbells or weights, I would simply have to pick it up and start hitting reps, I'd try to at least haha. Hitting weights, working out, exercise, sports, whatever it may have been, it all felt natural from the beginning. Even though I was just average back then, never really willing to put in the work.
I guess back then I was happy enough with "god's gifts", my talents and natural abilities. And as they say...
"Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard"
I don't know what it really is. And I still have no idea to this day. How and why I have this fascination towards lifting weights. Even at an age where kids would rather be interested in having a huge collection of toys, I'd usually find myself happy and busy enough trying to pick up that heavy block of iron laying around in the house. Just picking it up by an inch would've brought me immense joy, more than enough for me to daydream about it for the many days ahead.
Yes, it is true that I have always been surrounded by "muscleheads", runs in the family. Yet, I don't think my surroundings alone is the only cause for inducing such fascination towards bodybuilding. I believe it is something truly innate, present from the day I was born, inherent.
Bodybuilding always felt like an art form to me. And since I wasn't much of a "natural" in actual arts, bodybuilding would be the type of art I would myself investing time in. Concentrating on different body parts and areas, mostly the ones that felt or looked flawed, deficient. Slowly gaining muscle in those areas and overall sculpting a figure that is nothing but "perfect" in our own eyes. A sharp and clear image always being present in our minds. A goal, a shape, a form we one day see ourselves attaining.
Even lifting really heavy weights felt natural. Picking up weights that weighed double the weight of my body or more always felt like an accomplishment. Being able to naturally carry more weight than the average gymgoer, even the ones who were bulkier and way more experienced than me couldn't usually outlift me. After many months and years of consistency. I FINALLY knew that I was capable of such feats, it all truly felt astounding.
Astounding because, all my life I was told that I was incapable. Incapable in sports, in fitness and many more, simply because of my skinny and weaker structure. I was never the first one you'd pick to be on your team when it came to sports and other common activities. Even though I myself always knew and believed I wasn't incapable. I quite confidently believed that I was more than capable, naturally.
Alas, I guess I just had no cause back then, a cause to prove myself. Honestly speaking, even I did doubt myself and would question my potential on the regular. Back then I never really felt it being necessary to prove anything to anyone, nor did I have the desire or energy to argue. I would usually just hear and accept it all, letting it be as it is every DAMN time.
Yes, times have changed now, I have changed. In the eyes of many, I am now "capable", at least in the fitness aspect of life.
Now, at present time, non can take this feeling away from me. Nor can they talk down on it and question my capabilities anymore. Even if they did question it all, they would just be lying to themselves, while being blinded by hatred and envy.
It is a win I worked for, a win I believe I truly deserve. Finally being worthy of wielding the Hammer, or should I say worthy of wielding iron? The heaviest kind.
Sadly, even the start and the journey of becoming worthy was a rough one. A bit traumatizing, something I surely don't like talking about nor like looking back to. Yet, I do plan on sharing it all with you folks. Not just yet I guess, a bit more time is what I ask from you all.
That will be all from me on this one. I surely will be continuing from where I left off, after I've mustered up the courage to put it all into words. Cheers guys 🥃☮️
