There is only one thing I think about these days. There is one thing I don't want to write about too. But here goes anyway. Why not?
awareness
ripped from my side and reinstalled as memory
itches, scrapes, prods, at me
I'd rather not be aware
that I am capable of time travel
that I can go back back back
to those moments that brought life
and love to my breath
when my child smiled
and laughed
and hopped and skipped and
marveled at the skipping of stones
then excelled at same
I want to remain muddled
behind
sleepless and always asleep
unaware
To be aware is to let the sun shine again
I don't want the sun to shine again
I want to remember those last awful moments
the holding, the knowing, the peace of both
the love of all
a moment in time that I did not leave for any other memory
or future moment
I was right there
I wish this dog,
new love of my life
but not the love that I have lost
the love of a son
the love that gave him form
the loss of form that has left me
formed but hollow,
would stop barking
This is my entry to 