I don't often talk directly about my health although my blog is mostly about my struggle to function.
Even my account name is directly linked to that struggle, to take hold of my future, to go on despite my pain. I really truly am over the wait.
If you scroll back through the posts I post everyday I think I've been honest and mostly positive about my life and my place in it. Sometimes I rail against my own frustration, because I'm trying so hard. But today...
Today has been washed away, wasted. Lost to a haze of pain. My brain reduced to mush by the unstoppable pain of this horrid disease and the haze of so many ineffective medications. I didn't intend to rant about it but it fills me with frustration to not be able to do anything, think anything, just lie here, looking at the wall like so much unwashed laundry.
To those who've given me their time this day, even just a hello or a pun, I thank you. You've unknowingly given me the strength to keep my promise to myself, even though I just want to give up.
I DID NOT
Let the blockchain forever record that this day I was not defeated by this f#&&
