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Sometimes, I think we all have a little bit of selfishness when it comes to understanding others
We want people to understand why we couldn't call, why we didn't reply, why we became quiet, or why we suddenly became busy. We are always ready with our own explanations.
But when someone else does the same thing, we may not give them the same understanding.
I didn't really notice this about myself until something happened with a former colleague.
She became ill and had to stop working and return home. I was genuinely worried about her, so even after she left, I kept checking on her. I would send her a message to ask how she was doing, and most times, I was the one starting the conversation.
She once complained that some of our other colleagues were no longer checking on her. I told her, it's well, maybe they have different challenges they are facing. I encouraged her to Just take care of herself.
I really meant it. So I continued checking on her.
But after some time, I started noticing something... whenever I opened WhatsApp, i would see her online.
She was posting on her status almost every day. She always wish different people happy birthday, respond to things and interact with people.
I didn't even have any problem with her being online. That was her business, but what started bothering me was that she seemed to have the energy to interact with other people, but somehow, checking on me never seemed to cross her mind.
I was always the one sending the first message.
So one day, I decided to slow down, I wasn't always checking up on her again.
I just wanted to stop being the only one making the effort and see what would happen if I didn't message first.
One week passed, and for two weeks, I didn't check up on her.
Eventually, she messaged me.
And the first thing she said was that I had forgotten about her. I won't lie, that statement annoyed me.
Forgotten about her? after all the times I had been checking on her?
I explained that I had been a little busy, but she started telling me about everything she had been going through and the health challenges she was facing. I listened, and to be honest I understood that she was dealing with a lot.
But somewhere inside me, I was still angry, because I couldn't help thinking about all those times I had reached out first.
She was expecting me to understand what she was going through.
But who was trying to understand what I was going through?
I understood that she was ill, but couldn't she also understand that I could be busy?
That I could have my own things going on? She refused to understand that I could care about her without being available to check on her every single time?
After that conversation, things became awkward, and eventually, we stopped talking that frequently again. The friendship has weaken since then.
It has been a while now and sometimes when I think about what happened, I realise how complicated understanding people can be.
She saw two weeks of silence and felt forgotten.
I saw months of being the one who always reached out and felt taken for granted.
She wanted me to understand her situation, and I wanted her to understand mine.
And maybe that is the real problem, we seem to know our own reasons so well that we sometimes forget other people have reasons too.
So the answer to this prompt is simply because, everyone wants to be understood more than they understand others. We know the the reason behind our actions, but we don't see other people's own. We want people to look beyond what we're passing through and understand, yet we don't do the same for them.
Thanks 
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